Time felt like it sped up over the past thirteen days. I think the E’ trecena left me with some jet lag after Kawoq’s powerful news. I’m going to be a grandmother. This news both excites and overwhelms me. Much like the feeling I experience while traveling in a foreign country. The landscape is unfamiliar and I’m still learning the culture. I’ve already made a few faux pas, but I’m still delighted to be here. Today, Kan arrives just in time to help me integrate all of my contrasting feelings.
Kan is power and innate wisdom. It’s the coyopa or body lightening that animates human beings. It’s the secret dancer that lives inside us. It holds the codes of our DNA. Kan is most often associated with the serpent and personal transformation. Becoming a grandmother will definitely be transforming. Just like my grand baby, I will also need an entire calendar cycle to be reborn. In the meantime, I still have some identities to shed. A few have become quite uncomfortable, just like most of the clothes that I own right now.
My body has changed a lot over the past few years. Grief and menopause will do that. I haven’t shopped for new clothes for myself since my sister passed. Instead, I’ve cobbled together a few outfits from the back of my closet and the clothes that she left behind. It’s been comforting, but it’s also kept me stuck in the past in many ways. Monday marked the two-year anniversary since she left. I’ve held onto my security blankets long enough. I’m ready for a new look that honors the body I have now. My grandmother body.
E’ walked me back to a stylist that I met five years ago. Amy arrived on my path just in time to help me harness Kan’s transformative energy and update my wardrobe. I sent her my measurements after we met virtually for an hour. A couple of days later I received an e-mail with links to over a dozen different pieces. I liked each and every one of them. Even the prices were good. What I didn’t like were the sizes. I’d never bought clothes in the sizes that she recommended before.
Today the first items arrived. Just in time for my trip to San Diego to visit my daughter for Mother’s Day weekend. Each one fits me perfectly and makes me feel beautiful. This is the feeling that I intend to cultivate over the next thirteen days. May your own transformation be equally fun and satisfying. Happy Mother’s Day!
Joyfully,
Cara
Cara Carozza 