Cara Carozza

Living Maya Time – Symbols of Tijax

Today we are invited to look in the mirror and reflect on what is no longer serving us. Tijax asks us to edit, purify and set the boundaries that need to be set so that deeper healing can occur. The past thirteen days have been very introspective for me. That’s the power of the serpent. If we were able to sit still and listen, Kan delivered powerful wisdom from deep within ourselves and our lineage. Kan left me with the gift of empathy for my mother. Empathy for her overwhelm with all the busyness that living on a multi-generational homestead can bring. My son and daughter-in-law to be welcomed a set of Siamese cats to their growing family. Sisters. My twin sister and I had a set of Siamese cats when we were growing up. I would have expected to have been thrilled by these two little lovelies. Instead I panicked. What about their dog, Beso? How would he react to his new roommates? Who would take care of them when we all go on vacation? So many questions.

I’ve been praying for healing and intimacy for my mom and I ever since my husband and I moved onto her and my stepfather’s property three years ago. The original plan included only us, but has expanded to include our youngest son, his beloved, their dog and now their two cats. My mom has accepted it graciously, but not without discomfort. Kan showed me how this discomfort feels in her body when I became overwhelmed by my son and future daughter-in-law’s decision to adopt two new pets.

My favorite purifying plant, Rosemary

Today Tijax arrives in perfect time and with just the precision I need to excise any lingering feelings of anxiety that I may hold. I now understand that for my mother, most anything can feel overwhelming. She deserves grace and my compassion. This is the real work that we are doing together. We’re showing up just as we are and we are still choosing to live together in community. I’ve come to understand that a community thrives when its members are diverse and carry different frequencies. Different medicine.

I’ve awoken on the other side of the country this morning. I’m in New York visiting my new sister, her family and my stepmom. I’m feeling all their frequencies and I can’t wait to see how they polish me and my perspective. I’m hoping to see a lot of lilacs and even Niagara Falls. It’s going to be purifying and it’s going to be healing. May you find just what you need to deepen your own healing over the next thirteen days.

Happy Spring,

Cara

Living Maya Time – Symbols of Kan

Time felt like it sped up over the past thirteen days. I think the E’ trecena left me with some jet lag after Kawoq’s powerful news. I’m going to be a grandmother. This news both excites and overwhelms me. Much like the feeling I experience while traveling in a foreign country. The landscape is unfamiliar and I’m still learning the culture. I’ve already made a few faux pas, but I’m still delighted to be here. Today, Kan arrives just in time to help me integrate all of my contrasting feelings.

Kan is power and innate wisdom. It’s the coyopa or body lightening that animates human beings. It’s the secret dancer that lives inside us. It holds the codes of our DNA. Kan is most often associated with the serpent and personal transformation. Becoming a grandmother will definitely be transforming. Just like my grand baby, I will also need an entire calendar cycle to be reborn. In the meantime, I still have some identities to shed. A few have become quite uncomfortable, just like most of the clothes that I own right now.

**My new calendar wheel that arrived from Guatemala during the E’ Trecena**.

My body has changed a lot over the past few years. Grief and menopause will do that. I haven’t shopped for new clothes for myself since my sister passed. Instead, I’ve cobbled together a few outfits from the back of my closet and the clothes that she left behind. It’s been comforting, but it’s also kept me stuck in the past in many ways. Monday marked the two-year anniversary since she left. I’ve held onto my security blankets long enough. I’m ready for a new look that honors the body I have now. My grandmother body.

E’ walked me back to a stylist that I met five years ago. Amy arrived on my path just in time to help me harness Kan’s transformative energy and update my wardrobe. I sent her my measurements after we met virtually for an hour. A couple of days later I received an e-mail with links to over a dozen different pieces. I liked each and every one of them. Even the prices were good. What I didn’t like were the sizes. I’d never bought clothes in the sizes that she recommended before.

Today the first items arrived. Just in time for my trip to San Diego to visit my daughter for Mother’s Day weekend. Each one fits me perfectly and makes me feel beautiful. This is the feeling that I intend to cultivate over the next thirteen days. May your own transformation be equally fun and satisfying. Happy Mother’s Day!

Joyfully,

Cara

Living Maya Time – Symbols of E’

The midwife asked a lot of me over the past thirteen days. I had forgotten how intense labor can be. Everything we create requires energy and presence to bring it into form. A lot of seeds that I’d sown many moons ago popped during the Kawoq trecena. It felt like I had been told that I was expecting triplets after I’d just adjusted to the news that I was pregnant. It’s been dysregulating, to say the least. It’s time to direct my presence back to myself and to my own journey. I may have new creations to nurture, but I must anchor myself before I can serve anyone or anything else. I’ve acquired a lot of tools and now it’s time to use them.

Today invites us on a new journey. E’ is the nawal of the sacred path or road. It’s restless and curious. It craves novelty. E’ is just the breath of fresh air that I need after pushing through to the end of my deadline. It felt just like the transitional phase of labor. If you’ve given birth, you know what I mean. There’s no turning back. Only pushing through. This is the strength that Kawoq imbibes us with before we take our next journey on the wheel of life.

**The Path to our New Cabin Site. My son paving the way for the next generation.**

My next expedition is both professional and personal. I’m traveling to New York to stay with my new sister Maat. She arrived in my life just when I needed her most. Right after I’d lost my twin. This week Kawoq gifted us with a new law, just in time for her new venture. My sister is opening a cannabis dispensary and she’s asked me to prepare the tax returns. This week medical cannabis was descheduled by the Federal government. It’s now deductible as a medical expense for income tax purposes. A change I didn’t expect during my lifetime and if you’ve been following me for a while, a change very near and dear to my heart.

That’s all I have for now. Taking my own medicine and staying present with myself and those that I love. May your own horizons broaden and may your journey always be supported. There is much to be grateful for.

Cara xoxo

Living Maya Time – Symbols of Kawoq

Kame answered my prayers for a wedding at home with a decisive and very clear NO last week. It caught me off guard. It wasn’t what I expected and it wasn’t what I’d hoped for. Yet, the clarity has prepared the soil for a new idea to be born. Today we welcome the trecena of Kawoq. She is the midwife, the rain and the storm. After death comes rebirth. Into the darkness, a light is shined and new plans begin to emerge. It’s been really uncomfortable. For me and my entire family. Through our discomfort we’ve discovered a deeper level of intimacy and an opportunity for profound transformation. This is the gift that walking through the valley of death offers.

I’ve never worked so hard in my entire career as I have this year. In retrospect, one might conclude that I took on too much. Perhaps it was ill advised to try and write a book, mentor my son and take on all of my business partners clients. And let’s not forget the cabin project that I decided to add to my plate. Just for good measure. In fact, I’ve managed it all quite well and the only casualty has been people pleasing clients that don’t appreciated me or respect my time. With so much new work and so many moving parts to my life, something else had to die to make space in my garden for what really serves me and my own personal transformation.

A few of nights ago I dreamt of two turtles. One was larger than the other and they were both moving through a flame. It was an aqua blue flame like you might see from a gas lit fire. In their effort to escape the flames, they catapulted themselves over a mountain that was at the edge of the fire. The dream was incredibly vivid, but offered me no clear message until the evening that followed. My son had also had a powerful dream that night. So powerful that he slept walk outside and jumped off his deck. The entire left side of his face is bruised. The following day, my mom also took a fall, bruising the entire right side of her face. Her cat had brought her a lizard that was still alive and it startled her, causing her to jump over the threshold of her door and fall onto her face. I’m not sure what to make of it all, but I can’t help but feel like my mom and my son were the two turtles in my dream and that they walked through the fire of Kame together and then jumped into a new reality where we can all find common ground.

Kawoq’s spirit animal is the turtle. Many Meso American indigenous people call earth Turtle Island. The pattern on a turtle’s back mirrors the lunar calendar. The turtle is very much a symbol of new life and our sweet mother earth. The next thirteen days are fertile days to birth a new reality for ourselves. We are ready. We have walked through the fire and we have taken the leap of faith. The rainstorm has come to wash our wounds clean and support us through the labor of birthing a new dream for ourselves. Mine includes a weekend wedding retreat for my son and his beloved in the redwoods. Date and location to be determined. It’s going to be magical. May your dreams be equally sweet.

Love,

Cara

Living Maya Time – Symbols of Kame

I’m arriving a day late again this trecena. In all my years working as a tax accountant, I’ve never been busier. I’ve taken on all of my partners tax clients this season and a massive new tax bill, the One Big Beautiful Bill Act, passed last year. I’m experiencing growing pains and it’s a little uncomfortable. My spine is as straight as it can be. I stood up tall for my clients and for my family over the past couple of weeks while Aj was our guide. I was able to resolve a lot of issues and abate a lot of penalties. It was satisfying, but also exhausting. Kame arrived yesterday asking even more of us. Kame literally translates to death, but it embodies much more than that. It is the Nawal of the ancestors and it offers us the elixir of transformation if we’re willing and able to face our fears.

I’ve had an idea gestating for a number of weeks, but I’d been afraid to share it with my mother. My youngest son got engaged and he and his lovely fiancée would like to get married on the property that they, my husband and I and my parents all live on together. My parents own the land, but they’ve graciously invited us to be here with them. It’s mutually beneficial, but not without its challenges. We’ve brought our youthful energy, but also all the noise and business that comes with it. It’s been an adjustment for my mom who likes her peace and quiet and grew up an only child. Still, the land and the ancestors keep nudging me to bring more life and celebration to this property that we all share.

Yesterday, I planted the seeds for the ceremony that I keep being shown. Everything can be done outside so that if it’s too much, my mother can retreat to her own space. Friends and family that haven’t met or who haven’t communed in years will join together. A single day has the potential to ignite transformation within many. This is what I expressed to my mother. My desire to alchemize healing for those that I love and for the land that holds and loves me. It wasn’t nearly as frightening as I thought it would be. She hasn’t said no and she was able to express how she feels. Transformation has already begun for us and it is my prayer that it will happen for you over the coming twelve days. Remember to be grateful for every experience. Sometimes the most difficult ones offer the greatest reward.

Until we rise again,

Cara

Living Maya Time – Symbols of Aj

Today we welcome the stabilizing energy of Aj and boy am I ready for it. Ajpu led me on quite a quest over the past thirteen days. Yesterday I was rewarded and my new path was revealed. For seventeen years I have been a member of a mutual benefit corporation. The corporation has 100 members and collectively we own 2600 acres. Yesterday the ancestors and Nawal E’ conspired to grant me permission to build a cabin on this land. I’d abandoned this dream long ago, but Ajpu asked me to consider it again. From an elevated perspective. With the wisdom that my latest hero’s journey has gifted to me.

Aj is the connection between heaven and earth. It stands tall to hear the whispers of spirit and channels it into it’s roots which are firmly planted in the soil of mother earth. Aj represents the spinal column and it asks us to lead with our heart and for the good of our communities. Aj is most often symbolized by the cornstalk or the staff of life, but I’ve come to associate it with the mountains also. It’s quiet and noble strength are unwavering. Aj holds the container for our ceremonies. An Aj Q’ij is a spiritual guide and calendar priest who interprets the Cholq’ij and offers guidance.

The law of man may say that I own a piece of the mountain that my cabin will sit on, but I know that it cannot be owned. I am merely an invited guest and I do not take the hospitality that this sacred land has offered me for granted. I asked the land for permission to build on seven Aj. As I made my offering of cornmeal and tobacco, I asked for absolute clarity. I promised not to proceed unless the answer was crystal clear. Ajpu shined it’s light brightly over the past thirteen days. My application to build was approved unanimously and one of the other members has even offered to do all the ground work, at a discounted rate. When he told me that his birthday was March 22^nd, the same day as mine, I knew with absolute certainty that the land had also given her approval. She had just one condition. She asked for more ceremony.

The land that I have the privilege of building a cabin on is the land of the Esselen. The tribe that lived in reciprocity on these lands for hundreds if not thousands of years before colonization. For at least the past one hundred years our 2600 acres has been a gun and hunting club. No ceremonies have been made on these lands for a very long time. She is starving for communion with the humans that she hosts and provides for. This is what I heard on the mountain. A cry for connection and reverence. This is what Aj is asking of us over the next thirteen days. For the good of our families, our communities and the land herself we must stand up tall and witness what needs to be witnessed and then do better. A simple prayer is all it takes to begin.

In Strength,

Cara

Living Maya Time – Symbols of Ajpu

Yesterday was my Nima Q’ij, or Great Day. I spent the morning in ceremony and the afternoon working. As much as I wanted to spend the entire day in prayer and celebration, my day job didn’t allow for that this cycle. It’s tax season and the flow of paperwork is relentless. If I don’t keep it moving, I will drown in it. Still, I couldn’t help but infuse the magic of my birth Nawal into all that I did to serve my clients. Ajpu asks us to see the divinity in the mundane and to find the hero that lives within us.

The hero’s journey is not an easy path to walk. Meeting our shadow is uncomfortable, at best. Ajpu is the promise of light at the end of the dark tunnel. It’s the elixir that is waiting on the other side of our greatest challenges. It’s the return of spring after a long dark winter. Kej has created the container for our blossoming. As the Nawal of the Maya religion, Kej is a spiritual teacher. I was an excellent student while under Kej’s tutelage. I was prepared for my Great Day. Some of the most important people in my life were born during the Kej trecena and I celebrated each of them with a personalized ritual.

Now I’m ready to integrate my ritual making skills into my business. Personalized ceremonies to initiate and close financial cycles. A divination card deck that I’ve designed from the messages spoken to me through my dreams and the symbols of the Cholq’ij. My second memoir which explores the themes of money, magic and menopause and my own hero twin journey. I can’t wait to share these offerings once they are fully gestated. They’ve alchemized my healing and illuminated my path forward.

Yesterday we also had a total lunar eclipse, also known as a blood moon. In the Popol Vuh, the K’iche’ Maya creation story, the mother of Jun Ajpu is named Ixquic which means blood moon or blood maiden. Perhaps this eclipse is inviting us to rebirth ourselves as the divine beings that we are. The world could certainly use more light right now and that’s what I intend to channel for the remainder of this trecena.

May you be the hero of your own life,

Cara

Living Maya Time – Symbols of Kej

I’m ready for the steady and grounded energy of the stag after yesterday’s convergence of astronomical events. The trecena of magic ended with a solar eclipse, the return of Venus to the evening sky and the final day of Wayeb or Tz’apin Q’ij. Wayeb is the five-day period at the end of the Maya solar year. It is seen as a time of introspection and in some communities, public ceremony is avoided entirely until the new year lord or Mam has been seated. Jun Kej will guide us over the coming solar year and the next thirteen days. Yesterday was also the Chinese or Lunar new year. According to those traditions, we will be guided by the fire horse this year. Another four legged for the journey.

Yesterday was also the first day of my Mayan Cross. Your Mayan Cross is calculated using your date of birth. Here is where you can look up yours: http://www.walkingthewhiteroad.com. There are nine Nawals in your cross and they all occur within a twenty-eight day period, every 260 days. This period is often referred to as, “The Path of the Feathered Serpent” and it’s an ideal time for personal reflection and intention setting. I’d originally planned on making a small fire ceremony for my ancestors yesterday. Oxlajuj’ Kame is, according to many, the day when the veil is most thin. Both the number and the Nawal are associated with the ancestors and the unseen realms. Mother nature had her own ideas about what was best for me yesterday and she poured rain all day, extinguishing my plans.

I almost abandoned my ceremony making. I’m in the middle of my busiest time of year. Yet, if I’ve learned anything about this calendar, it’s the power of listening to the energy of each day and meeting it where it is. I’ve also learned that ceremony can happen anywhere, at any time. Your presence and your intention are what’s most important. My ceremony yesterday supported me in all the ways that I needed to be supported right now. I spent the day at the spa. I invited my ancestors to join me in the sauna and then I made a prayer as I poured water over the hot rocks. My sauna was followed by a purifying shower and then a restorative deep tissue massage. It soothed my body and cleared my mind making it easy to feel the magic that was all around me.

Kej is the Nawal of the wilderness and it carries a decidedly masculine frequency. It is not unlike the fire horse archetype that was welcomed yesterday by so many. It’s also the Nawal of spiritual leaders and priests and priestesses. Kej derives his power from the force of nature itself. The deer embodies stability through it’s four powerful legs. It holds all four of the cardinal directions within it’s medicine and that medicine is best taken outdoors. That is the guidance for the next thirteen days and also the coming solar year. Get outside. Bathe in Mother Natures tonics. It will soothe your soul and heal you.

Naturally,

Cara

Living Maya Time – Symbols of Ix

My dream drought ended with the arrival of the Imox trecena. It had been nearly a month since I’d logged any images in my bedside journal. On 12 E I was suddenly gifted with three vivid dreams in a row right before dawn broke. Bathed in the energies of the collective consciousness and cumulative wisdom, I was shown a new path. A path of ease.

In the first dream I am holding a small, soft and silky black dog. I’m petting his tiny head as he nuzzles into my chest. He makes me feel safe. My next memory is of standing in front an enormous oak tree. It’s boughs are heavy with bouquets of white and yellow flowers. Dozens of hydrangeas, daffodils, lilies and sunflowers smile down at me. They make me feel happy. In the final scene I’m in a house. It’s small and cozy and it reminds me of the cabin on the river that my husband and I raised our four children in. I open the door to a room. My sister is in it and she’s sleeping. In the next room I find my niece and nephew also sleeping. They are in a bed together with the little black dog. Seeing them makes me feel peaceful.

The dreamy otherworldly quality of Imox continues as we enter the trecena of Ix today. Ix is magic. To understand her, you must slow down and feel her. I struggled to stay grounded over these past thirteen days. My busy season is in full swing and I’ve taken on my partners tax clients this year. She’s slowing down and my son is ready for more work. I’m also writing a book. It’s a lot being wife, mother, daughter, friend, business advisor, mentor and writer. Disciplined scheduling has always served me when I’m overwhelmed, but it stifles creative flow. Imox showed me that over the past thirteen days. Now I’m feeling in need of a miracle to get through it all. Lucky for me, the medicine of the jaguar has arrived just in time.

Ix is the nawal of the jaguar and mother gaia. She rules mother earths natural altars and the cacao plant. She whispers through intuition and the fire. She nurtures and she protects. Don’t mistake her tender touch for weakness. Like her totem animal the jaguar she is a powerful and fierce. She also walks quietly. Ix asks us to continue to listen. If we’ve attuned ourselves while under Imox’s tutelage, we will be better able to see the magic that weaves our world. The magic of Ix is best appreciated outdoors. Ideally with a cup of cacao. If you arrive with presence and gratitude in your heart, Ix will bless you with more magic than you can possibly imagine.

Peacefully,

Cara xoxo

Living Maya Time – Symbols of Imox

Imox is the Nawal of water and the collective consciousness. It’s where we plant the seeds of our next creative dream. I’m not sure I’m ready for a new creative dream. I may have overeaten at the banquet that Q’anil offered me over the last thirteen days. I’m still feeling a bit energetically hung over from it all, or maybe it’s the intense solar activity we’ve been experiencing. Either way I feel spun and in need of grounding.

Imox is not a grounding energy. It’s an energy of pure potential and all those possibilities can feel overwhelming. Quiet presence is what Imox asks for and what I intend to cultivate as I enter the busiest time of my professional year. It won’t be easy. I still have a lot of crops in my garden from last season to tend to. Maybe this is why I don’t feel ready for any new dreams quite yet. I’m still digesting last season’s bounty. It was very delicious. The seeds of community and creativity that I planted during the last Imox trecena nine months ago flourished magnificently and I couldn’t resist tasting the fruit of each and every one of them.

My Q’anil banquet began with a Mayan personal ritual workshop which inspired me to harvest water from a natural source for my altar. That inspiration led to an invitation to visit my friend Kim. Kim lives near a seasonal lake and I hadn’t seen her in over a year. Our friendship was definitely in need of watering. My thirst quenched from our visit, I was then offered payment for tax services rendered from a new client in the form of an in-home massage. My main course followed. A retreat that included a sound bath and a cacao ceremony. It was hosted by another new client that I’ve added to my garden. My dessert was served at the edge of the pacific, in the baths of the Esalen Institute by my new friend Elena.

It was certainly a bountiful feast, but I’m ready to get back to my routine now. I’ve lost touch with my daily practices in the frenzy of my harvest celebrations. Without them, I risk drowning in the pool of Imox’s fertile waters. Staying present is what will keep me afloat. Presence arrives for me through my breath. If I can just remember to breathe deeply, then I will be okay.

In Peace,

Cara