#ancestors – Cara Carozza

Living Maya Time – Reflections on Ajmaq

Aq’ab’al showed me that I was feeling hesitant about sharing my new book with others. Ajmaq arrived to show me why. Ajmaq’s literal translation is one who works with error. Recognizing and working with error can polish our soul and allow us to become more authentic versions of ourselves. But not if we can’t see them. Sometimes we create blind spots that we’re not even aware of.

Like the car that suddenly appears in the lane that you’re merging into or the sting of the bee, Ajmaq is far from subtle. It asks us to look at what is underneath our error and understand how it’s shaped us. I thought that the record of my error no longer existed. Until I purchased a new phone. That’s how the text thread between my twin sister and I suddenly reappeared two years after I thought that I had deleted it. I felt completely blind-sided. A part of me still believed that I could have kept her here if I’d just done more. If I’d just said the right thing. The text thread would support this belief. Or so I thought until I read it.

Ajmaq is also associated with forgiveness and ancestral healing. My twin didn’t stop with the restoration of our last conversation onto my new phone. She visited two of our mutual friends in the dream space to deliver her message to me. In each dream she came as a young and playful version of herself. One friend described her expression as mischievous. Both said she teasingly stuck out her tongue. Definitely my sister.

Her message? There’s nothing more I could have done and she wants me to have more fun. Taste more of the honey. Lighten up. I’m doing my best to listen. I spent this past weekend in San Diego with my daughter. We had a lot of fun and I know my sister enjoyed every minute of it. Tomorrow opens the trecena of Toj. Thirteen opportunities to make offerings and express gratitude. May you offer the fire your full presence. It would be a wise investment of your time. Toj is the Nawal of reciprocity.

Appreciatively,

Cara

Living Maya Time – Reflections on Aq’ab’al

Today is the final day of the Aq’ab’al trecena and also my Dad’s Nima Q’ij or great day. Today we are gifted with the sight and the vision of the ancestors if we’ve been listening well enough. My Dad speaks to me most often through the voice of his Nawal, Tz’ik’in as he lives in the spirit world now. Whenever I’m out hiking and thinking or speaking about him, a hawk will invariably appear overhead and cry out. My Dad, like me, loved to talk and it seems that hasn’t changed. He makes it easy for me to hear his messages, but I’ve been struggling to hear my own voice lately. Decisions that I expected to come easily have not. It’s not time yet. The path forward is still forming.

Aq’ab’al invites us to travel into the cave of our own inner landscape and discover our true light. Not the light offered by our television, our computer or our phone, but something more eternal. For the past year I’ve been writing through my grief and my joy in a sacred partnership. My manuscript is finished, but it’s not the end of my journey. Now I must decide how and with whom I will share it. As I entered this trecena, meeting my book proposal deadline was all that I had on my mind. Making the video portion was really uncomfortable. However, it reflected clearly to me how I feel about sharing my book right now. I was articulate and concise, but quiet and tentative. Not quite ready to shout my message to the world like my Dad when he’s embodying the hawk.

What did get me talking and connected to my inner light this trecena was the ceremony that I made on B’elejeb B’atz. A day to celebrate and nurture the creations of women. I had many petitions to make. For gestating babies, a home for a young family, a business launch and an art installation. In my excitement to pray for all the women in my life who are creating, I forgot about my own book until the very end. Aq’ab’al showed me what really ignites my light and what I most want to share right now and that’s ceremony. The pile of Carmel stone that my husband has been diligently stacking to make way for a new water line suddenly revealed their purpose. The community fire pit that I’ve been dreaming about may be ready in time for the winter Solstice. I’ve always wanted to make a proper bon fire to welcome the returning light and this year we’re also welcoming our first grandchild. A vision worth tending to.

Tomorrow initiates thirteen days of reconciliation. If we’ve discovered shadows in our cave, Ajmaq is just the medicine we need to find forgiveness for ourselves and others. May you taste more of the sweet honey than the sting offered by this Nawal and its animal totem the bee.

In gratitude and contemplation,

Cara

Living Maya Time – Symbols of Tijax

Today we are invited to look in the mirror and reflect on what is no longer serving us. Tijax asks us to edit, purify and set the boundaries that need to be set so that deeper healing can occur. The past thirteen days have been very introspective for me. That’s the power of the serpent. If we were able to sit still and listen, Kan delivered powerful wisdom from deep within ourselves and our lineage. Kan left me with the gift of empathy for my mother. Empathy for her overwhelm with all the busyness that living on a multi-generational homestead can bring. My son and daughter-in-law to be welcomed a set of Siamese cats to their growing family. Sisters. My twin sister and I had a set of Siamese cats when we were growing up. I would have expected to have been thrilled by these two little lovelies. Instead I panicked. What about their dog, Beso? How would he react to his new roommates? Who would take care of them when we all go on vacation? So many questions.

I’ve been praying for healing and intimacy for my mom and I ever since my husband and I moved onto her and my stepfather’s property three years ago. The original plan included only us, but has expanded to include our youngest son, his beloved, their dog and now their two cats. My mom has accepted it graciously, but not without discomfort. Kan showed me how this discomfort feels in her body when I became overwhelmed by my son and future daughter-in-law’s decision to adopt two new pets.

My favorite purifying plant, Rosemary

Today Tijax arrives in perfect time and with just the precision I need to excise any lingering feelings of anxiety that I may hold. I now understand that for my mother, most anything can feel overwhelming. She deserves grace and my compassion. This is the real work that we are doing together. We’re showing up just as we are and we are still choosing to live together in community. I’ve come to understand that a community thrives when its members are diverse and carry different frequencies. Different medicine.

I’ve awoken on the other side of the country this morning. I’m in New York visiting my new sister, her family and my stepmom. I’m feeling all their frequencies and I can’t wait to see how they polish me and my perspective. I’m hoping to see a lot of lilacs and even Niagara Falls. It’s going to be purifying and it’s going to be healing. May you find just what you need to deepen your own healing over the next thirteen days.

Happy Spring,

Cara

Living Maya Time – Symbols of Toj

I’ve had a lot of opportunities for gratitude over the past thirteen days, but I was not immune to the sting that the medicine of Ajmaq often brings. After eight long months and many hours on the phone with the Internal Revenue Service, Mercury Retrograde delivered my sister’s tax refund. The last thing I had been waiting for in order to finally close her estate. All that remained was to sort through her personal possessions. She left a surprisingly small amount of stuff. She’d done a massive purge and even managed to get her house into escrow in the weeks leading up to her suicide. She made the most difficult thing I’ve ever had to do as easy as it could possibly be for me. For this I will always be grateful.

I’ve kept what I think my niece and nephew will want the most when they are finally able to look at it. I found a few things that I know they will never want to see. I’ve set those aside to burn in ceremony this evening. Today we welcome the energy of Toj. Toj is the Nawal of reciprocity and the sacred fire. The fire ceremony is the Mayan’s most fundamental ritual and also my favorite. The fire is our portal to communion with the spiritual realms and our ancestors. It’s where we offer spiritual food to the energies that sustain us. Toj teaches that in order to have balance in our lives, we must make offerings in payment for what we have received.

I’ll be offering rose petals and rosemary from my own garden today. I’ve been trying to use what I have and what already knows the land. I will also offer cacao, tobacco, copal and agua florida from my favorite local sources in Central America. Supporting the indigenous wisdom keepers of the spiritual practices that feed my soul is part of the reciprocity of Toj. It’s another offering from me to create balance in my life.

The fire also offers an opportunity for purification. Fire cleanses and transmutes. Today I will burn the documents of old agreements. I will pray for the transmutation and renewal that only the flame can deliver and I will offer prayers of gratitude for the financial stability that my sister’s departure has created for me. I invite you to light a candle each day for the next thirteen days and take a moment to offer your presence and your gratitude for what you’ve received this year.

In Service,

Cara

Living Maya Time – The Trecena of Kame

In my zeal to stand up tall and do what is right for the community, I’ve managed to pinch a nerve. It feels like there is a knife lodged alongside my left shoulder blade. The benevolent and hard-working energies of the Aj trecena had me sorting a life time of memories in my parents’ attic last week. Most of it had not been touched in nearly twenty-five years. Feeling strong and healthy, with a desire to better use the spaces that three generations are now occupying, I dove in eagerly. Perhaps I over did it? It felt so good to be moving all day, to spend time with my mother and to create at least the possibility that some of it can be let go of.

Kame is the energy of death, rebirth and transformation. The Maya view time as circular, not linear. Time is a cycle and death is part of that cycle. As the saying goes, “Out with the old and in with the new.” Kame is also the Nawal of the ancestors. An ideal day to honor your deceased loved ones or ask for their guidance.

While physically challenging, sorting all the stuff in the attic was the easy part. The hard part will be confronting the past. The unrealized plans and dreams. Your own unlined face and the faces of others that are no longer with you. Kame will bring the ideal energy to support this process if one chooses to engage with it.

Some prayers to the ancestors wouldn’t hurt either. I’ve already created a special spot on my alter for my Nana for this trecena. My Nana was a minimalist and an immaculate housekeeper. She was also a bookkeeper. My Mother’s Mother holds a very special place in my heart. I inherited a lot of her habits and skills and they serve me every day. She’s my perfect ally for the potential this trecena offers our homestead.

The roses we planted two seasons ago are finally flourishing. My Nana loved yellow roses. Every year on her birthday my grandfather would buy her a dozen yellow roses. The glory of summer flowers is a powerful reminder of how life is constantly renewing itself. Growth and renewal are the natural outcome of death and destruction. It’s the alchemy of life and it’s the energy of Kame. May you find comfort in the cycles of your life and in the wisdom of your lineage.

Eternally yours,

Cara

Equinox Gateway 2022

The Equinox gateway is open, my friends! It started on 22 of September 2022. All those 2s give me chills!…in a good way.

This Equinox date marks the start of fall in the Northern Hemisphere and spring in the Southern Hemisphere.

The Equinox is a spiritually potent time, as the veil between realms is thinner than usual. Maybe that’s why you have been feeling an overwhelming urge to travel to the home you grew up in and connect with old memories? Or perhaps you need to spend some time with family, talking about loved ones who have passed, creating a family tree or scrapbook. Strengthening family roots will make you feel grounded and aligned to life beyond what we can see. It’s a great time to ask your ancestors to support you and to petition on behalf of other family members too.

During an equinox, the Sun crosses what we call the “celestial equator” — an imaginary extension of Earth’s equator line into space. The equinox occurs precisely when the Sun’s center passes through this line.

Just a word of caution: the information, downloads, flashbacks, DNA upgrades, dreams, new codes and experiences at this time can be very overwhelming. You need to find ways to TRANSMUTE, ANCHOR, GROUND & CHANNEL it all. Use the four elements of nature (earth, water, air & fire) to assist you as far as possible.

I plan to harvest some lovely cannabis (earth), spend time soaking in the bathtub with my man (water), hike in the fresh mountain (air) and also write a few release letters which I plan to burn in a ritual (fire). I also plan to cook something warm and delicious and I will definitely be using an onion or two. I don’t know if you know this superstition about the Autumn equinox but legend has it that the onion’s skin has a lot to tell about the kind of Winter that you’re going to have. Thin skin= fairly easy one. Thick skin = …well, let’s just say ….get the Kleenex ready. Ha ha ha!

Let me know how it shapes up for you.

Sending you Libra season love and wishes of balance,

Cara

P.S. Please remember that Mercury is still retrograde until October 3rd. Watch your words! There is a big cautionary about gossip/hearsay/miscommunication/arguments/judgement.