Today is the final day of the Aq’ab’al trecena and also my Dad’s Nima Q’ij or great day. Today we are gifted with the sight and the vision of the ancestors if we’ve been listening well enough. My Dad speaks to me most often through the voice of his Nawal, Tz’ik’in as he lives in the spirit world now. Whenever I’m out hiking and thinking or speaking about him, a hawk will invariably appear overhead and cry out. My Dad, like me, loved to talk and it seems that hasn’t changed. He makes it easy for me to hear his messages, but I’ve been struggling to hear my own voice lately. Decisions that I expected to come easily have not. It’s not time yet. The path forward is still forming.
Aq’ab’al invites us to travel into the cave of our own inner landscape and discover our true light. Not the light offered by our television, our computer or our phone, but something more eternal. For the past year I’ve been writing through my grief and my joy in a sacred partnership. My manuscript is finished, but it’s not the end of my journey. Now I must decide how and with whom I will share it. As I entered this trecena, meeting my book proposal deadline was all that I had on my mind. Making the video portion was really uncomfortable. However, it reflected clearly to me how I feel about sharing my book right now. I was articulate and concise, but quiet and tentative. Not quite ready to shout my message to the world like my Dad when he’s embodying the hawk.
What did get me talking and connected to my inner light this trecena was the ceremony that I made on B’elejeb B’atz. A day to celebrate and nurture the creations of women. I had many petitions to make. For gestating babies, a home for a young family, a business launch and an art installation. In my excitement to pray for all the women in my life who are creating, I forgot about my own book until the very end. Aq’ab’al showed me what really ignites my light and what I most want to share right now and that’s ceremony. The pile of Carmel stone that my husband has been diligently stacking to make way for a new water line suddenly revealed their purpose. The community fire pit that I’ve been dreaming about may be ready in time for the winter Solstice. I’ve always wanted to make a proper bon fire to welcome the returning light and this year we’re also welcoming our first grandchild. A vision worth tending to.
Tomorrow initiates thirteen days of reconciliation. If we’ve discovered shadows in our cave, Ajmaq is just the medicine we need to find forgiveness for ourselves and others. May you taste more of the sweet honey than the sting offered by this Nawal and its animal totem the bee.
In gratitude and contemplation,
Cara
Cara Carozza 