Cultivating Presence in the Chaos

Hello Friends,

It’s been a minute. How are you doing? Truthfully, I have not been doing so well this past month. I am struggling to stay present and grounded. It’s felt like I am in the spin cycle of my washing machine.

My Dad’s health has taken a turn for the worse. His cancer is back and he is on life support. We have said goodbye four times now. I am clinging to a life raft of hope, but my grief threatens to breach the surface each time there is a new update. I now understand how cruel this disease can be, how the suffering expands and diffuses from the victim into the family.

My grief manifested in my lower back. I woke up and I could barely move without excruciating pain. Spirit was sitting on me and was not going to let me up until I felt some of the feelings I had been repressing. The pain in my back invited me to cry, so I let it flow. I sobbed and I shook. I wailed and I screamed. I gave my grief, anger and frustration full license to express.

I felt a release, but my back was still out and I began to wonder how I was going to get up to use the bathroom. Life was still there, insisting that I participate even though I couldn’t move. Sometimes the only thing we can do is be where we are and have compassion for ourselves.

Sweet Surrender

For me that meant spending the entire weekend in bed watching Hallmark movies and eating cannabis edibles. I ignored my task master mind that told me I was being lazy and that I could surely find something productive to do while in bed and I SURRENDERED. And guess what? I woke up Monday morning with no back pain at all.

Sometimes what we need in order to cultivate presence in the face of chaos is to just have mercy on ourselves and allow ourselves to just be human. We don’t have to do it all, every day. We just need to show up and meet ourselves where we are. I invite you to do this the next time life throughs you a curveball.

In Peace and Love,

Cara

P.S. There is a new moon in Leo on the 28th. It’s a perfect time to set new intentions for fun, creativity, romance and entertainment.

Words Matter-Meditations on Steinbeck

John Ernst Steinbeck Jr. entered the world 120 years ago today. He is probably best known for his Pulitzer Prize winning novel, The Grapes of Wrath, but he authored many other books during his lifetime. A total of 33. Steinbeck was born in Salinas, California. Affectionately known as, The Salad Bowl of the Nation, Salinas made its fortune, after the depression, on “green gold” and it remains an agriculture town today.

Salinas is also where I keep my office and I am reminded of Steinbeck on a daily basis. I am blessed to have a fantastic view of the Steinbeck Public Library. The front of the library is flanked by a statue of Mr. Steinbeck and an immense boulder that is inscribed with one of his quotes, a favorite of mine, “Books are the best friends you can have. They inform you and entertain you and they don’t talk back.”

Books do not talk back, but they speak nonetheless. Steinbeck was awarded the Nobel Prize in Literature for his realistic writings that combined sympathetic humor and keen social perception. He told stories that many in the Salinas Valley would rather not be told. The Grapes of Wrath, his acclaimed and prize winning novel was banned by several local schools. His books were even burned, both in the city of Salinas and other cities throughout the country. They were condemned as obscene.

Today this same community celebrates him with one of the largest literary museums in the United States dedicated to a single author. His birthplace and childhood home is a restored Queen Anne style Victorian that now houses a charming restaurant and gift shop. His name graces not only the library, but also the post office, an elementary school, roads and even part of the highway, not to mention numerous businesses. He is our most famous native son.

It’s hard to imagine a time when his books and his ideas were not only unpopular, but actually outlawed. It inspires me to speak my own truth every day and reminds me that peoples perceptions can change in time and when offered another’s point of view.

But…first we must use our words. We must speak our truth. Our very own, uniquely us TRUTH! No matter how unpopular. That’s what I intend on continuing to do. I invite you to join me.

In love,

Cara

P.S. I have just submitted my Audiobook for its final review before publishing! I expect it to be available early next month.