Uncategorized – Cara Carozza

Living Maya Time – Reflections on Q’anil

There’s an old farming rhyme about planting seeds, “One for the mouse, one for the crow, one to root and one to grow.” Q’anil reminded me of this proverb over the past thirteen days. Not all seeds germinate and not all plants bear fruit. Ideally, we are able to recognize which ideas and opportunities will nourish our true potential and help us grow. Sometimes we need to get really uncomfortable in order to recognize that what we are cultivating is no longer serving us. That was certainly my experience this past trecena.

The building that I keep my professional office in was purchased last year. The new owners are lousy farmers. They’ve allowed us to wilt over the past few months. Our air conditioning stopped working two months ago and they still haven’t repaired it. Their response to our most recent service request was, “AC is not a right, it’s an option and it’s currently unavailable.” My lease states otherwise, but that’s not why I’ve been awake since three AM this morning. It’s the lack of humanity that these people have. It’s really triggered me. I’ve been literally and figuratively steaming for days.

As I thrashed about in my garden looking for viable crops, it suddenly occurred to me that I might need to plant my seeds somewhere else. I surveyed my options but found no fertile soil available. It was very disheartening. I had expected Q’anil to deliver the perfect new space. Far away from my heartless new landlords. Instead, I was made even more uncomfortable. Temperatures in my office have exceeded 84 degrees this week and it’s the last days of the filing season so I’ve had to be in my office whether I’ve wanted to or not.

With no relief in sight, I was forced to consider an entirely new business model. One my son has been encouraging me to explore since he came to work for me last year. This new model takes advantage of technology that I’m already paying for, stream lines my information gathering process and takes advantage of the share economy that I am such a fan of. Growing is hard work. Sometimes you have to get really dirty and really sweaty in order to produce something new that serves both you and your community. I’m actually feeling grateful for all my struggles now. If I hadn’t experienced them, my business might have become one of the seeds for the mouse.

Tomorrow, we begin a new gestation cycle. We welcome the collective force of Imox. The primordial waters of creation. Anything is possible. Amen to that.

To New Beginnings,

Cara xoxo

Living Maya Time – Reflections on Tz’ikin

Tz’ikin took me on a journey these past thirteen days. The Eagle (Red Tailed Hawk in my neck of the woods) gifted me with glimpses of the vision of Community that I have held for many moons. I was shown what I had seeded and tended with devotion. My sprouts were clearly evident. Deep satisfaction is finding a permanent home within my body and my spirit. I haven’t quite landed yet, but I have the runway in sight and it’s going to be a smooth landing.

I’ve been Beta testing an app that two dear friends and fellow students of Maya Cosmology have developed together. My Q’ij (@my.qij) is Ancient yet Futuristic in the words of its creators. It’s a magical tool for learning and reflection. It’s become my container for journaling each day and it’s given me an elevated perspective. I could scarcely believe all that had held my attention this trecena when I reviewed all the entries that I had recorded. Flying high in the sky, we have the complete picture. The entire vision of possibilities laid out before us.

Tz’ikin also showed me prosperity in all it’s varied forms. The freedom to shuttle my mother and step-father to his most recent surgery. The willingness of our crew to finish our cabin project despite numerous changes and delays. The opportunity to submit my manuscript to a number of small and independent publishers even though I don’t have an agent. The free card deck samples that my printer sent me before asking for any money. All of this and my first grand baby on the way. Life is full in a way I never expected it to be at this stage of my life. Tz’ikin showed me that there is always a new horizon. A new dream and expanded possibilities.

Tomorrow welcomes the fertile energies of Q’anil. Q’anil will ask us to tend the sprouts that most serve our spiritual growth over the next thirteen-day cycle. Careful and conscious tending is what will be asked of us. Q’anil will also offer us time to enjoy what we’ve already created as well. I’m looking forward to customizing my book proposal for each of the independent publishers I’ve identified and planning a baby blessing ceremony with my future daughter in law. My husband will be harvesting the cannabis and hemp plants in our garden in the coming days as well. Worthy and pleasurable endeavors to channel Q’anils’ ripening energy into.

May you enjoy getting your hands into the dirt of your life.

Lovingly,

Cara

Living Maya Time – Reflections on Iq

Iq gave me more opportunities to listen than to express myself over the past thirteen days. As a daughter, as a mother and as a friend. Iq is not subtle. It is breath, wind, voice and the hurricane. For me, Iq arrived as the hurricane. I expected a pleasant breeze and ended up with howling winds. I’m feeling a bit breathless from it all. Still, I’m grateful to have heard with clarity what was spoken to me. Iq seeks to liberate our voice so that we can experience the freedom of expressing our authentic self. Sometimes that process is less than graceful and sometimes it triggers those we care about most.

I’ve gotten really good at speaking my truth since I started writing and it’s become one my most powerful tools for regulating my nervous system. What I hadn’t realized was that it has also made me a great sounding board for others. Through witnessing my own feelings, I have developed more compassion for the feelings of others. I have cultivated the ability to hear what used to illicit anxiety and panic. I’ve developed perspective. I understand that until certain feelings, ideas and memories are expressed that they will divide and alienate. If they are given space and allowed to exist, they often dissolve. Once dissolved, they are easily carried away by the wind.

I focused on my heart each time words were delivered to me that made me want to act or respond instead of listen. I breathed deep into my diaphragm and imagined that I was drawing blue light from the heart of the sky into my own heart. I then exhaled deeply through my root chakra sending the light deep into the earth. Pacha Mama sent me her own soothing green light all the way up into my heart and I found myself softening. I was able to have empathy and remember times when I had felt similarly.

Even within a storm we can find a still point. Within my still point I was able to see the way forward. My way forward was a cup of cacao and a micro fire ceremony on Wajxaqib’ Toj. The fire always listens and always grounds me. Tomorrow we are joined by Tz’ikin, the eagle or the hawk. We’ll want to stay grounded while we’re taking in the scenes below. Tz’ikin offers vision and is the intermediary between heaven and earth, but can also get distracted by all there is to see. May you soar above it all and find exactly what you are looking for over the next thirteen days.

In quiet reverence,

Cara

Living Maya Time – Reflections on Ajmaq

Aq’ab’al showed me that I was feeling hesitant about sharing my new book with others. Ajmaq arrived to show me why. Ajmaq’s literal translation is one who works with error. Recognizing and working with error can polish our soul and allow us to become more authentic versions of ourselves. But not if we can’t see them. Sometimes we create blind spots that we’re not even aware of.

Like the car that suddenly appears in the lane that you’re merging into or the sting of the bee, Ajmaq is far from subtle. It asks us to look at what is underneath our error and understand how it’s shaped us. I thought that the record of my error no longer existed. Until I purchased a new phone. That’s how the text thread between my twin sister and I suddenly reappeared two years after I thought that I had deleted it. I felt completely blind-sided. A part of me still believed that I could have kept her here if I’d just done more. If I’d just said the right thing. The text thread would support this belief. Or so I thought until I read it.

Ajmaq is also associated with forgiveness and ancestral healing. My twin didn’t stop with the restoration of our last conversation onto my new phone. She visited two of our mutual friends in the dream space to deliver her message to me. In each dream she came as a young and playful version of herself. One friend described her expression as mischievous. Both said she teasingly stuck out her tongue. Definitely my sister.

Her message? There’s nothing more I could have done and she wants me to have more fun. Taste more of the honey. Lighten up. I’m doing my best to listen. I spent this past weekend in San Diego with my daughter. We had a lot of fun and I know my sister enjoyed every minute of it. Tomorrow opens the trecena of Toj. Thirteen opportunities to make offerings and express gratitude. May you offer the fire your full presence. It would be a wise investment of your time. Toj is the Nawal of reciprocity.

Appreciatively,

Cara

Living Maya Time – Reflections on Tz’i

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Today I can honestly say that my faith has been restored. The word Tz’i means dog and this Nawal offers us an opportunity to look deep within ourselves to discover our own true nature. Tz’i enables us to sense that which is ordinarily hidden from our view. The dogs extraordinary senses fuel its persistence to discover bones of truth that have been buried for a long time. Perhaps for generations.

Emboldened by my fortified perception and already possessing the innate wisdom of a mother, I patiently unraveled and discovered the roots of the knots that N’oj had revealed. Decades old, yet still festering. I tended the wounds as a mother would. With attentiveness and compassion, but not denial. Tz’i reminded me that my job as a parent is a lifetime position. It requires a lot of faith and a lot of loyalty. Qualities that are often ascribed to our canine companions.

Being a parent is an instinctual job. We learn by doing. Our children do not come with an instruction manual and each one is different. My husband and I have four children between us. We each arrived with two and we decided that was plenty. Even though our hearts longed to know a child that was just ours, we both believed that it wouldn’t be fair to the four that we already had. They needed and deserved for us to give them our full presence. To finish the job that we began before we fell in love.

We did the best that we knew how to do and still we’ve made mistakes. Mistakes that have polished our souls and led us to have a renewed compassion for our own adult parents. Tz’i reminded me that I’m still my mothers precious baby girl even if I’m technically a senior citizen and on the path to grandmotherhood. When my cabin project hit a literal roadblock, it was my parents who came to the rescue with a solution. Reminding me that my own mother is still parenting me. We’re all just walking each other home to spirit and I’m so grateful to be exactly where I am.

Tomorrow, we welcome a new dawn and a new concept. Our faith restored, our senses heightened, we are ready to step into the new ideas and experiences that are awaiting us in this next trip around the calendar wheel with Aq’ab’al.

Gratefully,

Cara

Living Maya Time – Reflections on N’oj

The Solstice revealed some very old knots within my family. Many ugly things were said. It left me shell shocked and seeking support from both the heart of the sky and the heart of the earth. The wounds will take time to heal, but they will no longer be festering. With time and space reconciliation will arrive. I’m focusing on keeping my own head in my heart as I serve as mediator. I’m also beginning to understand that the job of parenting never ends. Even when your own children become parents themselves. In fact, it is a whole new opportunity to untangle the knots of the past and our ancestral lineage. These are the gifts that the Trecena of K’at offered me while I was in the mountains. Opportunity and compassion.

Since I moved onto my parents property three years ago, I have been praying for healing between myself and them and it’s happened. Now there is space for this same healing to happen between myself and my own children. It’s not comfortable and it’s most certainly exhausting, but it’s the most sacred work that we can do while we are here in earth school. The Maya believe that the fire is the ear of spirit and that’s why fire ceremonies are such an important part of their spiritual practices. I made my Wajxakib B’atz fire ceremony at 4500 feet, opposite Mt Lassen this cycle. My fire offered me an image of a portal and an invitation to enter it. I accepted and spoke the words that needed to be spoken.

N’oj arrived quietly after we had descended the mountain and returned home. Still bruised and vulnerable, I found myself unable to write as the first full trecena of the new calendar cycle opened. My spirit asked for stillness and reflection first. I often think about N’oj as the mind of the calendar. However, N’oj is not only the mind. It is also the earth thinking through us. In order to hear the wisdom of the earth we need to listen. I listen best when I am quiet and that’s why I’ve decided to offer a reflection at the end of each trecena this calendar cycle instead of at the beginning.

Tomorrow our loyal companion T’zi arrives to chaperone us into our destiny. T’zi brings the frequency of justice and natural law along with the playful and instinctual nature of the dog. I look forward to sharing my journey with T’zi after I’ve taken it.

In Stillness,

Cara xoxo

Living Maya Time – Symbols of E’

The midwife asked a lot of me over the past thirteen days. I had forgotten how intense labor can be. Everything we create requires energy and presence to bring it into form. A lot of seeds that I’d sown many moons ago popped during the Kawoq trecena. It felt like I had been told that I was expecting triplets after I’d just adjusted to the news that I was pregnant. It’s been dysregulating, to say the least. It’s time to direct my presence back to myself and to my own journey. I may have new creations to nurture, but I must anchor myself before I can serve anyone or anything else. I’ve acquired a lot of tools and now it’s time to use them.

Today invites us on a new journey. E’ is the nawal of the sacred path or road. It’s restless and curious. It craves novelty. E’ is just the breath of fresh air that I need after pushing through to the end of my deadline. It felt just like the transitional phase of labor. If you’ve given birth, you know what I mean. There’s no turning back. Only pushing through. This is the strength that Kawoq imbibes us with before we take our next journey on the wheel of life.

**The Path to our New Cabin Site. My son paving the way for the next generation.**

My next expedition is both professional and personal. I’m traveling to New York to stay with my new sister Maat. She arrived in my life just when I needed her most. Right after I’d lost my twin. This week Kawoq gifted us with a new law, just in time for her new venture. My sister is opening a cannabis dispensary and she’s asked me to prepare the tax returns. This week medical cannabis was descheduled by the Federal government. It’s now deductible as a medical expense for income tax purposes. A change I didn’t expect during my lifetime and if you’ve been following me for a while, a change very near and dear to my heart.

That’s all I have for now. Taking my own medicine and staying present with myself and those that I love. May your own horizons broaden and may your journey always be supported. There is much to be grateful for.

Cara xoxo

Living Maya Time – Symbols of Kawoq

Kame answered my prayers for a wedding at home with a decisive and very clear NO last week. It caught me off guard. It wasn’t what I expected and it wasn’t what I’d hoped for. Yet, the clarity has prepared the soil for a new idea to be born. Today we welcome the trecena of Kawoq. She is the midwife, the rain and the storm. After death comes rebirth. Into the darkness, a light is shined and new plans begin to emerge. It’s been really uncomfortable. For me and my entire family. Through our discomfort we’ve discovered a deeper level of intimacy and an opportunity for profound transformation. This is the gift that walking through the valley of death offers.

I’ve never worked so hard in my entire career as I have this year. In retrospect, one might conclude that I took on too much. Perhaps it was ill advised to try and write a book, mentor my son and take on all of my business partners clients. And let’s not forget the cabin project that I decided to add to my plate. Just for good measure. In fact, I’ve managed it all quite well and the only casualty has been people pleasing clients that don’t appreciated me or respect my time. With so much new work and so many moving parts to my life, something else had to die to make space in my garden for what really serves me and my own personal transformation.

A few of nights ago I dreamt of two turtles. One was larger than the other and they were both moving through a flame. It was an aqua blue flame like you might see from a gas lit fire. In their effort to escape the flames, they catapulted themselves over a mountain that was at the edge of the fire. The dream was incredibly vivid, but offered me no clear message until the evening that followed. My son had also had a powerful dream that night. So powerful that he slept walk outside and jumped off his deck. The entire left side of his face is bruised. The following day, my mom also took a fall, bruising the entire right side of her face. Her cat had brought her a lizard that was still alive and it startled her, causing her to jump over the threshold of her door and fall onto her face. I’m not sure what to make of it all, but I can’t help but feel like my mom and my son were the two turtles in my dream and that they walked through the fire of Kame together and then jumped into a new reality where we can all find common ground.

Kawoq’s spirit animal is the turtle. Many Meso American indigenous people call earth Turtle Island. The pattern on a turtle’s back mirrors the lunar calendar. The turtle is very much a symbol of new life and our sweet mother earth. The next thirteen days are fertile days to birth a new reality for ourselves. We are ready. We have walked through the fire and we have taken the leap of faith. The rainstorm has come to wash our wounds clean and support us through the labor of birthing a new dream for ourselves. Mine includes a weekend wedding retreat for my son and his beloved in the redwoods. Date and location to be determined. It’s going to be magical. May your dreams be equally sweet.

Love,

Cara

Living Maya Time – Symbols of Kame

I’m arriving a day late again this trecena. In all my years working as a tax accountant, I’ve never been busier. I’ve taken on all of my partners tax clients this season and a massive new tax bill, the One Big Beautiful Bill Act, passed last year. I’m experiencing growing pains and it’s a little uncomfortable. My spine is as straight as it can be. I stood up tall for my clients and for my family over the past couple of weeks while Aj was our guide. I was able to resolve a lot of issues and abate a lot of penalties. It was satisfying, but also exhausting. Kame arrived yesterday asking even more of us. Kame literally translates to death, but it embodies much more than that. It is the Nawal of the ancestors and it offers us the elixir of transformation if we’re willing and able to face our fears.

I’ve had an idea gestating for a number of weeks, but I’d been afraid to share it with my mother. My youngest son got engaged and he and his lovely fiancée would like to get married on the property that they, my husband and I and my parents all live on together. My parents own the land, but they’ve graciously invited us to be here with them. It’s mutually beneficial, but not without its challenges. We’ve brought our youthful energy, but also all the noise and business that comes with it. It’s been an adjustment for my mom who likes her peace and quiet and grew up an only child. Still, the land and the ancestors keep nudging me to bring more life and celebration to this property that we all share.

Yesterday, I planted the seeds for the ceremony that I keep being shown. Everything can be done outside so that if it’s too much, my mother can retreat to her own space. Friends and family that haven’t met or who haven’t communed in years will join together. A single day has the potential to ignite transformation within many. This is what I expressed to my mother. My desire to alchemize healing for those that I love and for the land that holds and loves me. It wasn’t nearly as frightening as I thought it would be. She hasn’t said no and she was able to express how she feels. Transformation has already begun for us and it is my prayer that it will happen for you over the coming twelve days. Remember to be grateful for every experience. Sometimes the most difficult ones offer the greatest reward.

Until we rise again,

Cara

Living Maya Time – Symbols of Aj

Today we welcome the stabilizing energy of Aj and boy am I ready for it. Ajpu led me on quite a quest over the past thirteen days. Yesterday I was rewarded and my new path was revealed. For seventeen years I have been a member of a mutual benefit corporation. The corporation has 100 members and collectively we own 2600 acres. Yesterday the ancestors and Nawal E’ conspired to grant me permission to build a cabin on this land. I’d abandoned this dream long ago, but Ajpu asked me to consider it again. From an elevated perspective. With the wisdom that my latest hero’s journey has gifted to me.

Aj is the connection between heaven and earth. It stands tall to hear the whispers of spirit and channels it into it’s roots which are firmly planted in the soil of mother earth. Aj represents the spinal column and it asks us to lead with our heart and for the good of our communities. Aj is most often symbolized by the cornstalk or the staff of life, but I’ve come to associate it with the mountains also. It’s quiet and noble strength are unwavering. Aj holds the container for our ceremonies. An Aj Q’ij is a spiritual guide and calendar priest who interprets the Cholq’ij and offers guidance.

The law of man may say that I own a piece of the mountain that my cabin will sit on, but I know that it cannot be owned. I am merely an invited guest and I do not take the hospitality that this sacred land has offered me for granted. I asked the land for permission to build on seven Aj. As I made my offering of cornmeal and tobacco, I asked for absolute clarity. I promised not to proceed unless the answer was crystal clear. Ajpu shined it’s light brightly over the past thirteen days. My application to build was approved unanimously and one of the other members has even offered to do all the ground work, at a discounted rate. When he told me that his birthday was March 22^nd, the same day as mine, I knew with absolute certainty that the land had also given her approval. She had just one condition. She asked for more ceremony.

The land that I have the privilege of building a cabin on is the land of the Esselen. The tribe that lived in reciprocity on these lands for hundreds if not thousands of years before colonization. For at least the past one hundred years our 2600 acres has been a gun and hunting club. No ceremonies have been made on these lands for a very long time. She is starving for communion with the humans that she hosts and provides for. This is what I heard on the mountain. A cry for connection and reverence. This is what Aj is asking of us over the next thirteen days. For the good of our families, our communities and the land herself we must stand up tall and witness what needs to be witnessed and then do better. A simple prayer is all it takes to begin.

In Strength,

Cara