#stillness – Cara Carozza

Living Maya Time – Reflections on N’oj

The Solstice revealed some very old knots within my family. Many ugly things were said. It left me shell shocked and seeking support from both the heart of the sky and the heart of the earth. The wounds will take time to heal, but they will no longer be festering. With time and space reconciliation will arrive. I’m focusing on keeping my own head in my heart as I serve as mediator. I’m also beginning to understand that the job of parenting never ends. Even when your own children become parents themselves. In fact, it is a whole new opportunity to untangle the knots of the past and our ancestral lineage. These are the gifts that the Trecena of K’at offered me while I was in the mountains. Opportunity and compassion.

Since I moved onto my parents property three years ago, I have been praying for healing between myself and them and it’s happened. Now there is space for this same healing to happen between myself and my own children. It’s not comfortable and it’s most certainly exhausting, but it’s the most sacred work that we can do while we are here in earth school. The Maya believe that the fire is the ear of spirit and that’s why fire ceremonies are such an important part of their spiritual practices. I made my Wajxakib B’atz fire ceremony at 4500 feet, opposite Mt Lassen this cycle. My fire offered me an image of a portal and an invitation to enter it. I accepted and spoke the words that needed to be spoken.

N’oj arrived quietly after we had descended the mountain and returned home. Still bruised and vulnerable, I found myself unable to write as the first full trecena of the new calendar cycle opened. My spirit asked for stillness and reflection first. I often think about N’oj as the mind of the calendar. However, N’oj is not only the mind. It is also the earth thinking through us. In order to hear the wisdom of the earth we need to listen. I listen best when I am quiet and that’s why I’ve decided to offer a reflection at the end of each trecena this calendar cycle instead of at the beginning.

Tomorrow our loyal companion T’zi arrives to chaperone us into our destiny. T’zi brings the frequency of justice and natural law along with the playful and instinctual nature of the dog. I look forward to sharing my journey with T’zi after I’ve taken it.

In Stillness,

Cara xoxo

Living Maya Time – Symbols of B’atz

Yesterday we entered a new creation cycle. I was up early and filled with excitement. B’atz is the weaver of time and our reality. An ideal day to make a small ceremony and offering at my cabin site, or so I thought. As my husband, step-father and I made the final ascent up the Santa Lucia range, we encountered an obstacle. A cattle guard that’s not nearly wide enough for the cabin that I’ve already entered into contract to purchase. Excitement deflated into fear and then shame. The signs had been so clear and I had felt so supported. Why had we not noticed the cattle guard before? What is the guidance now? I’m still not sure. I’m still sitting with it. My offering has been made and now I must wait for my answer.

Jun B’atz begins the twenty day tour through all the Nawals as we prepare for Wajxaqib’ B’atz. On this day new calendar day keepers or Aj’ij are initiated and large fire ceremonies are held to celebrate the new calendar cycle. Yesterday was also my step-mother’s Nima Q’ij, or great day. Linda is a master weaver. Her life is full of connection and beauty and she’s shared it all with me. I’ve inherited a new sister and an entire new extended family. They were just the medicine I needed to harness the purifying frequencies of the Tijax trecena while I was visiting them in New York. I did get to see the Niagra Falls and lots of Lilacs. Lucky me.

**Linda and her new beau, Bob at Chichen Itza**

My new sister Maat showed me over and over again what needed excising from my field. I’ve never met someone who moves through their life with such grace and optimism. She’s a mother of six and she and her husband own and operate a number of businesses together. Rather than have a rigid plan, she allows life to direct where her energy should go at any given moment. She doesn’t always arrive at the time that she intends to, but she never worries about it. And she ALWAYS speaks her mind. How refreshing! Being with her and her family for a week was truly liberating and very inspiring.

As I sit with my disappointment that I cannot build the cabin that I wanted to, I will be focusing on creating something new. I will trust the wisdom of time and the threads of creation. I will remember all of my blessings and all those that support me on my path. And I will pray and I will listen.

To New Beginnings,

Cara

Living Maya Time – Symbols of Aq’ab’al

We’ve been blessed with some early rains this year in California. Always something to celebrate. Both for the earth and the sky. The parched soil cherishes every drop and the rain clouds paint the horizon in a most spectacular way. Especially at dawn and dusk. This transition time is the energy of Aq’ab’al. It is the moment when the light changes. New concepts and ideas are revealed. Supported by the wisdom of N’oj the scribe and the unconditional love of Tz’i the dog, it’s time to start imagining our new creation for this calendar cycle.

This Spring I bought a journal just for dreams when I took a Rest and Digest workshop. I’ve always recorded the lucid dreams that come through with vivid clarity, but never kept a journal specifically for dreams. Remembering all my dreams has been more challenging than I expected. The images dissolve quickly in the first light of morning. Stillness is how I’ve learned to capture them. My mornings have become a quiet prayer to my soul. A totally new concept for me.

I am a morning person. I always awake before the dawn. When we had our four kids all living at home with us, my morning energy was channeled into making lunches and wrangling paperwork into backpacks while my husband made breakfast for everyone. I relied upon him to tell me what the weather was going to be like because I rarely looked outside until it was time to take the kids to school. It was exhausting and left me feeling disconnected from myself.

These days, I allow myself more time to rest and be still in the morning. When I do, I can remember my dreams much more easily. Rest, renewal and stillness are symbols I’ve come to understand as embodying the energy of Aq’ab’al. If we’re busy all the time and darting around from here to there, we might miss out on hearing what spirit is trying to speak. Or we might not even see the beautiful sunrise that is right outside our window. It will be gone in an instant, just like the images in our dreams.

Over the next thirteen days, I invite you to rest more and find time for stillness. If you do, new ideas and important messages may arrive. Mother nature may also gift you with a beautiful sunrise or sunset. This is wisdom of Aq’ab’al for me. Be still and all will be revealed in its’ own time.

Happy Listening,

Cara