Tag: #twinloss

Living Maya Time – Reflections on Ajmaq

Aq’ab’al showed me that I was feeling hesitant about sharing my new book with others. Ajmaq arrived to show me why.  Ajmaq’s literal translation is one who works with error. Recognizing and working with error can polish our soul and allow us to become more authentic versions of ourselves. But not if we can’t see them. Sometimes we create blind spots that we’re not even aware of.

Like the car that suddenly appears in the lane that you’re merging into or the sting of the bee, Ajmaq is far from subtle. It asks us to look at what is underneath our error and understand how it’s shaped us. I thought that the record of my error no longer existed. Until I purchased a new phone. That’s how the text thread between my twin sister and I suddenly reappeared two years after I thought that I had deleted it. I felt completely blind-sided. A part of me still believed that I could have kept her here if I’d just done more. If I’d just said the right thing. The text thread would support this belief. Or so I thought until I read it.

Ajmaq is also associated with forgiveness and ancestral healing. My twin didn’t stop with the restoration of our last conversation onto my new phone. She visited two of our mutual friends in the dream space to deliver her message to me. In each dream she came as a young and playful version of herself. One friend described her expression as mischievous. Both said she teasingly stuck out her tongue. Definitely my sister.

Her message? There’s nothing more I could have done and she wants me to have more fun. Taste more of the honey. Lighten up. I’m doing my best to listen. I spent this past weekend in San Diego with my daughter. We had a lot of fun and I know my sister enjoyed every minute of it. Tomorrow opens the trecena of Toj. Thirteen opportunities to make offerings and express gratitude. May you offer the fire your full presence. It would be a wise investment of your time. Toj is the Nawal of reciprocity.

Appreciatively,

Cara

Living Maya Time – The Trecena of B’atz’

I’ve come to see the energy of B’atz’ as the energy that connects me to my twin sister. Through the womb we shared and through the threads of time that still continue to connect us. Last night I dreamt of Michaela. I couldn’t tell you what we were doing, but we were together and we were enjoying ourselves. We were surrounded by light. When I awoke her presence was still with me. For an instant, I forgot that she was gone. I savor these moments. It’s where we meet now.

Michaela and I. Forever entwined.

The energy of Tijax and the lunar eclispse that it hosted left me restless. Charged and precise, embodying it required a lot of presence from me. Presence and practice. The full moon begged for a fast and I agreed. Tijax is the ultimate purifier, after all. Fasting when my body is ready for it always feels good. Not so much when it isn’t. I am learning to listen to my body. Patiently like a mother, or a lover. I’ve come to accept and cherish her just as she is. It’s a lot more fun that way. Tijax supported my intentions to release self-judgement.

B’atz’ is creativity. It weaves time and all that exists in our physical reality. Today we plant the seeds of a new creation. In twenty days time, we arrive at Wajxaquib B’atz’, the beginning of another 260 day cycle. Ideal energetic weather for initiating any creative project. Under the influence of the Nawal of marriage and partnerships, collaborations are also favored for the next thirteen days.

This weeks assignment for my new creative project is to, “Sketch fragments for the TWIN LOSS chapters.” I think I’m ready. Lots of threads to explore and excavate. I’m going to feel a lot, but it’s time to weave something new. Something that feels good and feels like me.

Short and sweet. It’s tax season again. Only one more trecena left. May the opportunity to discover what you want to create next present itself over the next thirteen days.

Much Love,

Cara