Cara Carozza

Living Maya Time – Symbols of Toj

I’ve had a lot of opportunities for gratitude over the past thirteen days, but I was not immune to the sting that the medicine of Ajmaq often brings. After eight long months and many hours on the phone with the Internal Revenue Service, Mercury Retrograde delivered my sister’s tax refund. The last thing I had been waiting for in order to finally close her estate. All that remained was to sort through her personal possessions. She left a surprisingly small amount of stuff. She’d done a massive purge and even managed to get her house into escrow in the weeks leading up to her suicide. She made the most difficult thing I’ve ever had to do as easy as it could possibly be for me. For this I will always be grateful.

I’ve kept what I think my niece and nephew will want the most when they are finally able to look at it. I found a few things that I know they will never want to see. I’ve set those aside to burn in ceremony this evening. Today we welcome the energy of Toj. Toj is the Nawal of reciprocity and the sacred fire. The fire ceremony is the Mayan’s most fundamental ritual and also my favorite. The fire is our portal to communion with the spiritual realms and our ancestors. It’s where we offer spiritual food to the energies that sustain us. Toj teaches that in order to have balance in our lives, we must make offerings in payment for what we have received.

I’ll be offering rose petals and rosemary from my own garden today. I’ve been trying to use what I have and what already knows the land. I will also offer cacao, tobacco, copal and agua florida from my favorite local sources in Central America. Supporting the indigenous wisdom keepers of the spiritual practices that feed my soul is part of the reciprocity of Toj. It’s another offering from me to create balance in my life.

The fire also offers an opportunity for purification. Fire cleanses and transmutes. Today I will burn the documents of old agreements. I will pray for the transmutation and renewal that only the flame can deliver and I will offer prayers of gratitude for the financial stability that my sister’s departure has created for me. I invite you to light a candle each day for the next thirteen days and take a moment to offer your presence and your gratitude for what you’ve received this year.

In Service,

Cara

Living Maya Time – Symbols of Ajmaq

Today we welcome not only a new trecena, but also a new moon in Scorpio. Before I discovered the Maya’s sacred count of days, the Cholq’ij, I was a life-long student of western astrology. Planetary cycles still interest me, but I don’t keep track of them like I used to. I’ve turned my attention inward to observe and understand my own personal landscape and cycles. But, it’s still good to know what the weather is going to be like before we head out the door.

Mercury went retrograde on the 9^th and won’t go direct until the 29^th. You may have noticed that there’s a lot of static out there right now. Static in communication, electronics and plans you’ve tried to make. Everything slows down to allow time for integration during Mercury retrograde. Whether we like it or not. I found the sluggish pace of Mercury retrograde to be in perfect alignment with my intentions to find as much stillness as I could during the last trecena of Aq’ab’al. Through this stillness, I’ve been accessing more of my own wisdom through dreams.

Last night I had a really lovely and vivid dream to welcome the redemptive energy of Ajmaq and the introspective quality of the Scorpio new moon. Thank You had been tattooed in rainbow letters across the length of my arm and I was asking for it to be removed. Once I made my request, the tattoo transformed into blue and green stars. I was offered the phrase, “Gratitude creates transformation” as I watched the images on my arm alchemize.

I’ve come to know Ajmaq as the nawal of human nature. To be human is to make mistakes. Mistakes teach us and invite even more wisdom through forgiveness. Ajmaq’s medicine is intense like the sting it’s spirit guardian the bee delivers when it feels threatened. Pain is a compelling teacher. It has a powerful energy signature that gets stored deep in the human body and psyche. Ajmaq invites us to transmute our pain through forgiveness. Forgiveness of ourselves and forgiveness of others. One of my favorite rituals to initiate self-forgiveness is the practice of repeating the Hawaiian Ho’oponopono mantra. It’s used to heal negative memories and situations by taking personal responsibility for what appears in your reality and seeking forgiveness and love for yourself and others.

I am sorry

Please forgive me

Thank you

I love you

I’ve got a beautiful new beeswax candle for my Ho’oponopono practice this trecena. I’ve also got another mantra that my own dreams have gifted me with, “Gratitude creates transformation.”

May you find love and forgiveness in your own heart as this new moon and the energy of Aqmaq illuminates the shadow within us.

Living Maya Time – Symbols of Aq’ab’al

We’ve been blessed with some early rains this year in California. Always something to celebrate. Both for the earth and the sky. The parched soil cherishes every drop and the rain clouds paint the horizon in a most spectacular way. Especially at dawn and dusk. This transition time is the energy of Aq’ab’al. It is the moment when the light changes. New concepts and ideas are revealed. Supported by the wisdom of N’oj the scribe and the unconditional love of Tz’i the dog, it’s time to start imagining our new creation for this calendar cycle.

This Spring I bought a journal just for dreams when I took a Rest and Digest workshop. I’ve always recorded the lucid dreams that come through with vivid clarity, but never kept a journal specifically for dreams. Remembering all my dreams has been more challenging than I expected. The images dissolve quickly in the first light of morning. Stillness is how I’ve learned to capture them. My mornings have become a quiet prayer to my soul. A totally new concept for me.

I am a morning person. I always awake before the dawn. When we had our four kids all living at home with us, my morning energy was channeled into making lunches and wrangling paperwork into backpacks while my husband made breakfast for everyone. I relied upon him to tell me what the weather was going to be like because I rarely looked outside until it was time to take the kids to school. It was exhausting and left me feeling disconnected from myself.

These days, I allow myself more time to rest and be still in the morning. When I do, I can remember my dreams much more easily. Rest, renewal and stillness are symbols I’ve come to understand as embodying the energy of Aq’ab’al. If we’re busy all the time and darting around from here to there, we might miss out on hearing what spirit is trying to speak. Or we might not even see the beautiful sunrise that is right outside our window. It will be gone in an instant, just like the images in our dreams.

Over the next thirteen days, I invite you to rest more and find time for stillness. If you do, new ideas and important messages may arrive. Mother nature may also gift you with a beautiful sunrise or sunset. This is wisdom of Aq’ab’al for me. Be still and all will be revealed in its’ own time.

Happy Listening,

Cara

Living Maya Time – Symbols of Tz’i

I’ve recently become a dog lover. Or at least a lover of one particular dog. For the next thirteen days, the Nawal of the dog will be our guide and companion. Our faith may be tested, but Tz’i is here to support us with unconditional love. An energy that I have become very familiar with since my little grand puppy Beso moved onto the homestead.

I could use some faith and some unconditional love today. I’ve been embodying the archetype of the scribe. I was at my computer writing nearly every morning of the N’oj trecena. I am already half way into chapter three of my new book. It’s been flowing. So much so that I got behind on some of my personal business.

I’ve been hearing from a number of my clients that their health insurance premiums were increasing dramatically for the next calendar year. My enrollment forms arrived early this month, but they remained unopened until this morning. My heart sank and then began to beat rapidly when I saw my new premium. It’s increased by $3,200. I logged onto my account, certain that there must be an error. There was not. The premium subsidies that had been in effect since COVID have expired and the current administration has not extended them. In fact, I think that the government is shut down because they are still arguing about the budget.

I don’t pay much attention to political news. I am required to take three days of continuing education each year and that keeps me informed about what’s actually going on. Follow the spending and you will see who is in charge and what their agenda is. It’s not very difficult to understand the laws of man.

Tz’i is here to help us understand natural law. It is the Nawal of justice and also our five senses. Tz’i also represents sovereignty. I’m being asked to be sovereign. To have faith in my own ability to stay well and heal myself. Without the assistance of the healthcare system. My new premium is unaffordable. I’ll be cancelling it later this afternoon. We only have it because California penalizes taxpayers without health insurance. The energy of Tz’i will not abandon me and if I get scared, Beso is here to offer me his unconditional love.

May you also walk and feel supported by the energy of the dog. It’s here for all of us over the next thirteen days. Whether we are dog parents or not.

With Unconditional Love,

Cara

Living Maya Time – Symbols of N’oj

Every choice is sacred. This is what I heard as I reflected on the second anniversary of my sisters passing on the Cholq’ij calendar. She passed on 9 E’. A day when our new life path may be clearly revealed. For the Maya, the number nine represents the number of lunar cycles that a human baby gestates. The Nawal E’ is the road or the journey. To live in harmony with the energies, one is said to be walking the white road.

My sisters’ choice to commit suicide changed the course of my life path forever. For two cycles I have been wearing a heavy coat of grief, unable to connect to her energies. Shame and survivor guilt have obscured her presence. The calendar offered another perspective. What if I could accept her choice as sacred? Perhaps then, I could receive her gifts and connect with her spirit more deeply.

The trecena of K’at offered me the ideal opportunity to liberate myself from the choking entanglement of my grief. I’ve had my sisters’ ashes on my deck since the dry season began. She’s been surrounded by flowers. Flowers whose vines had intertwined. This became my ceremony, untangling the knots that had formed. When I was done, the plants mirrored my own feelings. They looked healthier and there was room for new growth.

Today’s energy invites us to receive the wisdom that N’oj offers. We can only receive this knowledge when there’s space in our minds and in our hearts. Each Nawal offers us a symbol or glyph. The glyph for N’oj depicts a brain and circles which represent the potential for human spiritual evolution. My daughter and her father both carry the Nawal of N’oj and they are both engineers. The archetype of the engineer is the first symbol that I ascribed to the Nawal N’oj.

Part of the magic of this calendar is its’ insistence upon looking within ourselves to find the wisdom of spirit. Through storytelling and imagery, we can create our own library of symbols. Using our own unique language, we can connect more intimately with ourselves, our ancestors and our guides.

On 7 N’oj, I was invited to participate in the inaugural session of a Cholq’ij study group. The group has been created by Diana Paez who carries the Nawal of 4 N’oj. She has an excellent website, www.walkingthewhiteroad.com, which is filled with information about the calendar if you want to dive deeper into its’ wisdom. Diana is an excellent scribe and I have added that symbol to the engineer archetype that I already identified N’oj with.

As you move through the next thirteen days, take note of the symbols that you are offered. Journal the dreams that stay with you upon waking. Record the images that appear during your meditations. Use this information to distill your own knowledge. You are your own guru and you don’t need anyone else to connect to your higher wisdom.

You’ve got this!

Living Maya Time – The Trecena of K’at

It’s hard to believe that this marks a full cycle since I began writing again. My intention has been realized. I’ve deepened my understanding of the Nawales through writing about my experiences. It’s expanded me and my web of connection. K’at is this energy of connection. It’s also the net that carries our crops. It is the Nawal of the harvest.

Harvest came yesterday for our cannabis plants. The sun leaves were dry and yellow. Unusual humidity threatened to bring mold. Time to gift what’s left of last seasons flower. This is the invitation of K’at. By releasing what we do not need, we unburden ourselves and we nurture our connection to our community. Reciprocity in action.

It’s not always easy to know what we need to release. Slowing down long enough to listen is sometimes the hardest part. The creative energy of B’atz left me buzzing. So many threads were offered. Exciting, but overwhelming. Clarity about what to keep has not arrived. I need to be patient or I risk creating a knot with all the threads instead of a beautiful tapestry.

Ceremony and ritual are my methods to cultivate patience. They anchor me when the pace feels too fast. The dance of the fire offers an opportunity for reflection. Offerings strengthen my connection to spirit. It can be as simple as lighting a candle and some incense. Or it can be an elaborate fire ceremony shared with the entire community. I’m not sure what I’ll be up for next weekend when Wajxaqib B’atz arrives, but I know it will bring an energy of renewal.

Exercise discernment as you decide what to release and what to hold onto over the next 13 days. Packing lightly for your next journey is advised. If you don’t, there may be no room for anything new.

Until next time.

Cara

Living Maya Time – The Trecena of B’atz’

I’ve come to see the energy of B’atz’ as the energy that connects me to my twin sister. Through the womb we shared and through the threads of time that still continue to connect us. Last night I dreamt of Michaela. I couldn’t tell you what we were doing, but we were together and we were enjoying ourselves. We were surrounded by light. When I awoke her presence was still with me. For an instant, I forgot that she was gone. I savor these moments. It’s where we meet now.

The energy of Tijax and the lunar eclispse that it hosted left me restless. Charged and precise, embodying it required a lot of presence from me. Presence and practice. The full moon begged for a fast and I agreed. Tijax is the ultimate purifier, after all. Fasting when my body is ready for it always feels good. Not so much when it isn’t. I am learning to listen to my body. Patiently like a mother, or a lover. I’ve come to accept and cherish her just as she is. It’s a lot more fun that way. Tijax supported my intentions to release self-judgement.

B’atz’ is creativity. It weaves time and all that exists in our physical reality. Today we plant the seeds of a new creation. In twenty days time, we arrive at Wajxaquib B’atz’, the beginning of another 260 day cycle. Ideal energetic weather for initiating any creative project. Under the influence of the Nawal of marriage and partnerships, collaborations are also favored for the next thirteen days.

This weeks assignment for my new creative project is to, “Sketch fragments for the TWIN LOSS chapters.” I think I’m ready. Lots of threads to explore and excavate. I’m going to feel a lot, but it’s time to weave something new. Something that feels good and feels like me.

Short and sweet. It’s tax season again. Only one more trecena left. May the opportunity to discover what you want to create next present itself over the next thirteen days.

Much Love,

Cara

Living Maya Time – The Trecena of Tijax

The serpent brought me a lot of wisdom these past 13 days. Wisdom that is seeding knowing. Knowing feels different than believing. The difference is subtle, but profound, much like the energy of Kan. It’s innate and is best understood through experience. Ix Cacao was my chosen experience. I’ve completed 19 days of a 21-day cacao immersion. Traditional preparation and ritual formed our courtship. The Mayan energy of the day informed our meditations. Her magic invited me to feel my innate wisdom. So gentle, so sweet. My heart has been opened in the most delightful way through knowing this sacred plant. Pure bliss. Insights delivered easefully. A joyful practice that I was eager to engage with each morning. Echoing my rib adjustment and the attic excavation, Madame Cacao showed me that healing can feel good. More of that, please!

The trecena of Tijax invites us to put the wisdom we’ve acquired from Kan to use. Tijax purifies and excises whatever creates imbalance. It represents an obsidian blade and embodies the archetypes of both the surgeon and the holy warrior. Its power is best wielded with discernment. Through our presence and experience during the Kan trecena, we embody the wisdom necessary for discernment. Ideally, it tempers our blade.

With the arrival of Tijax, we are nearing the end of the cycle that began in January on 8 B’atz. Discharging and releasing any energies that are not serving us creates space for sustained healing and growth. Healing that liberates and nourishes. Writing is part of my release process. If I can access my vulnerability, my prose teaches me things about my experiences that my mind dismisses. Tuning into how I feel is key. Cacao and her teacher, @sacred_wellness_by_zuli, inspired a new level of feeling within me. It has changed me. I feel softened. A sense of innocence and hope have been restored.

I intend on harnessing the power of the obsidian blade to create permanent space for these new found feelings. Cutting distorted ideas about pain from my psyche. Editing old stories from my mental playlist. Purifying my heart of cynicism. I will be drinking cacao and I will be beginning a creative journey called Dream Weaving with my editor and soul sister, Lee Mayimele. It’s a journey into vibration, attunement and elevation according to her. I can’t wait to see what we create together in the coming cycle. Getting rid of anything that will impede the process with the tenacious energy of Tijax.

Trust yourself, you are so very wise.

Cara xoxo

Living Maya Time – The Trecena of Kan

We’ve returned from the journey and we are ready to integrate our experience. Kan represents power and innate wisdom. It is the feathered serpent Q’uq’umatz or Quetzalcoaltl. It is coyopa, the lightning in the blood. Today Kan empowers us to follow the new direction that E’ has offered. Whether your travels took you away from home or deep into your inner landscape, the seed of a new path has germinated. Now the real work of growth begins.

**This gorgeous rattle snake showed up on my hike yesterday to welcome in the energy of Kan.**

San Diego was both magical and illuminating. An alchemy of past, present and future. We let the navigation plot our course and ended up at my Dad’s favorite pit stop. It looked just as he had always described it. They still made their own fudge. Fudge he sometimes brought to my sister and me when he drove up to visit us. Fudge was a special treat. “Rocky Road and Chocolate, please.” I filled my mouth with it, immediately tasting the past. I let the tears stream down my face. My Dad was with me. I could feel him everywhere.

Andrew’s birthday wish was a trip to the Zoo. It had been twenty years since any of us had been. That had been on our first road trip together as a family. Two weeks driving up and down the West Coast in a mini-van. Absolutely exhausting. Infinitely expanding. This was our first vacation trip to San Diego as a couple. One week in a sweet little cottage. Lots of decadent food and leisurely sightseeing. Completely restorative. Totally satisfying. The trip went so well we are planning an annual pilgrimage. Andrew and Caroline have the same stars in their eyes that my Dad and my Grandparents had when they were living in San Diego. They are in love and likely to stay a while.

I initiated my Ixcacao immersion journey on the last day of our trip. Planting the seeds of this heart opening medicine in San Diego. The intersection of my past, present and future. An energetic portal to my healing. My first dose of cacao offered me an image of my grandparents house and then the name of the street. “Can we take a short detour to Rancho Bernardo?” Richard had already typed the street name into the navigation. “I can’t remember the number, but I will remember the house when I see it.”

Every part of my being remembered. It was almost startling. The house had only existed in my mind. Way back in the fuzzy part of my mind. Now it stood right in front of me. Nearly unchanged. My grandfathers citrus trees were immense. One of his roses even remained. It was all still here. The life force of my ancestors is still alive. It lives within me and my children. Kan is this force and it is the wisdom that comes from understanding the power of this force. Investing the power of Kan into your family and your relationships is a wise investment. I highly recommend it.

Happy Investing,

Cara

Living Maya Time – The Trecena of E’

Kawoq ushered in a chorus of women that I have planted seeds of relationship with over the past few years. They all showed up eager to be watered. It should not have been such a surprise. The energy of the midwife and the rainstorm had been my conductor. She eased me into my labor with a quiet meditation retreat with my friend Cathryn. A once-a-year date to spend the weekend together doing something creatively empowering. It left plenty of time for leisurely meals and lots of conversation. Nice and easy.

The contractions got my attention when I got a call from my new sister, Maat. “I got my dispensary license! Remember you told me when we were in the Dominican Republic that you would take care of the taxes, right?” I did, but had forgotten. She would be my first cannabis client. Family and in an aligned business. I really couldn’t say no, especially after what my family had been through. Kawoq encouraged me to breathe. You got this she said. You’ve studied the law. You’re the best person for this work. She is so wise.

Transition came with a request from a client I had not worked for in a while. A delicate project, closing a family business and preparing the final tax returns. But also, something else. “I’ve seen the ceremonies you make for yourself online and I want you to create one for me and my husband for our anniversary.” Ashley is an artist. She ran for the City Council of Carmel – by – the -Sea and I was her campaign treasurer. We connected immediately. I got paid to learn a ton and collect money while drinking wine and eating cheese at all of her fund-raising events. It didn’t even feel like work.

I was surprised, but completely intrigued by her request. Almost immediately, I got a case of imposter syndrome. Am I qualified to create a Mayan’ish fire ceremony for someone else? I decided to just start and see what took form. Checking their anniversary date, I saw that it was today, 1 E’. Time to push.

E’ is the Nawal of the road, the journey and the new path. It nurtures and expands the new life birthed during the Kawoq trecena. Ideal energy for a ceremony to initiate a new financial direction. This was all I needed to fuel my creativity. Everything I needed was there. I didn’t need to buy anything. I just needed to allow the process to happen. And I had SOOO MUCH fun doing it! Equally fun was delivering it to her. She had gifted me one of her sculptures after the campaign. Now I was able to reciprocate.

A new path is emerging. One where my spiritual practices intersect with my business services. Fertile ground for more of my authentic self to emerge. I am feeling an exhilarating excitement building. The energies of this Trecena will also be supporting my journey to San Diego. My husband and I are visiting our daughter and one of our sons. I’m so excited to squeeze them both. Travel is auspicious for the next couple of weeks. Inward journeys are also supported. I’m starting one of those too. A 21 day cacao immersion. Can’t wait to meet Madame Cacao more intimately.

Bon voyage on your journey, I hope it surprises and delights you.

Cara xoxo