Tag: #forgiveness

Living Maya Time – Symbols of Ajmaq

Today we welcome not only a new trecena, but also a new moon in Scorpio. Before I discovered the Maya’s sacred count of days, the Cholq’ij, I was a life-long student of western astrology. Planetary cycles still interest me, but I don’t keep track of them like I used to. I’ve turned my attention inward to observe and understand my own personal landscape and cycles. But, it’s still good to know what the weather is going to be like before we head out the door.

Mercury went retrograde on the 9th and won’t go direct until the 29th. You may have noticed that there’s a lot of static out there right now. Static in communication, electronics and plans you’ve tried to make. Everything slows down to allow time for integration during Mercury retrograde. Whether we like it or not. I found the sluggish pace of Mercury retrograde to be in perfect alignment with my intentions to find as much stillness as I could during the last trecena of Aq’ab’al. Through this stillness, I’ve been accessing more of my own wisdom through dreams.

Last night I had a really lovely and vivid dream to welcome the redemptive energy of Ajmaq and the introspective quality of the Scorpio new moon. Thank You had been tattooed in rainbow letters across the length of my arm and I was asking for it to be removed. Once I made my request, the tattoo transformed into blue and green stars. I was offered the phrase, “Gratitude creates transformation” as I watched the images on my arm alchemize.

I’ve come to know Ajmaq as the nawal of human nature. To be human is to make mistakes. Mistakes teach us and invite even more wisdom through forgiveness. Ajmaq’s medicine is intense like the sting it’s spirit guardian the bee delivers when it feels threatened. Pain is a compelling teacher. It has a powerful energy signature that gets stored deep in the human body and psyche. Ajmaq invites us to transmute our pain through forgiveness. Forgiveness of ourselves and forgiveness of others. One of my favorite rituals to initiate self-forgiveness is the practice of repeating the Hawaiian Ho’oponopono mantra. It’s used to heal negative memories and situations by taking personal responsibility for what appears in your reality and seeking forgiveness and love for yourself and others.

I am sorry

Please forgive me

Thank you

I love you

I’ve got a beautiful new beeswax candle for my Ho’oponopono practice this trecena. I’ve also got another mantra that my own dreams have gifted me with, “Gratitude creates transformation.”

May you find love and forgiveness in your own heart as this new moon and the energy of Aqmaq illuminates the shadow within us.

Living Maya Time – The Trecena of Ajmaq

In a divine wink from the Universe, I am a little late in getting this blog published. I am feeling my humanness. I had a particularly frustrating day yesterday. I had no capacity to write. This Trecena celebrates and offers us the opportunity to reflect upon what it means to be human. It invites us to find forgiveness for ourselves and for others when we embody those less than desirable qualities that all humans possess. The Trecena of Aq’ab’al brought the new concept of JOY in for me. I discovered my inner girl while sliding down waterfalls, zip lining, dancing and just FROLICKING. Returning home to confront my business was sobering, but not unmanageable. Not until yesterday. Yesterday found me impatient, exhausted and frustrated. What happened to my joyful girl? SHE WAS HAVING A TEMPER TANTRUM!

Today as I contemplated the theme of the next thirteen days, I had to giggle. To be human is not to be perfect or to feel good all of the time. The Mayan word Maq represents the veil that obscures our perception of Ajaw (God). This veil is what makes us human. According to the Mayan creation story described in the Popul Vuh, when the Gods fashioned the first humans, they created them without the ability to see the consequences of their actions. In doing so, humans must make mistakes to learn and expand their consciousness. Through reconciliation and forgiveness, we can achieve enlightenment. When we recognize that each of us is on our own journey, we can have compassion for the actions of others. We learn to respect the process of life as a human being on planet earth.

Since I lost my twin sister, I have struggled to forgive myself for not reaching out more and checking in on her during her last days. I knew she was struggling with her mental health. I had struggled with my own mental health the previous year. I had learned that I had to find the answers within to find my joy again. I expected her to do the same. Her suicide was a complete shock to me. She was taking steps to make changes and then SHE WAS JUST GONE. In the space of three months, she completely lost her center and felt unable to go on. I will always wonder if there was any action or words from me that would have kept her here with us. But, on this timeline she is gone and it serves no one for me to withhold forgiveness from myself. To be honest, her despair overwhelmed me. I was protecting my one inner peace which was quite fragile and I was serving the clients in my business. My tank was empty.

I will be taking as much time as I can for introspection in the coming days. Our birthday is later this month and it will be my first year celebrating without her. I want to arrive at the day in a place of wholeness that honors myself as a human, as a twin and now as a woman who is still a twin, but is now walking alone.

May you find forgiveness and compassion for yourself and others this Trecena.

Cara