Tag: #twin

Living Maya Time – Symbols of N’oj

Every choice is sacred. This is what I heard as I reflected on the second anniversary of my sisters passing on the Cholq’ij calendar. She passed on 9 E’. A day when our new life path may be clearly revealed. For the Maya, the number nine represents the number of lunar cycles that a human baby gestates. The Nawal E’ is the road or the journey. To live in harmony with the energies, one is said to be walking the white road.

My sisters’ choice to commit suicide changed the course of my life path forever. For two cycles I have been wearing a heavy coat of grief, unable to connect to her energies. Shame and survivor guilt have obscured her presence. The calendar offered another perspective. What if I could accept her choice as sacred? Perhaps then, I could receive her gifts and connect with her spirit more deeply.

The trecena of K’at offered me the ideal opportunity to liberate myself from the choking entanglement of my grief. I’ve had my sisters’ ashes on my deck since the dry season began. She’s been surrounded by flowers. Flowers whose vines had intertwined. This became my ceremony, untangling the knots that had formed. When I was done, the plants mirrored my own feelings. They looked healthier and there was room for new growth.

Today’s energy invites us to receive the wisdom that N’oj offers. We can only receive this knowledge when there’s space in our minds and in our hearts. Each Nawal offers us a symbol or glyph. The glyph for N’oj depicts a brain and circles which represent the potential for human spiritual evolution. My daughter and her father both carry the Nawal of N’oj and they are both engineers. The archetype of the engineer is the first symbol that I ascribed to the Nawal N’oj.

Part of the magic of this calendar is its’ insistence upon looking within ourselves to find the wisdom of spirit. Through storytelling and imagery, we can create our own library of symbols. Using our own unique language, we can connect more intimately with ourselves, our ancestors and our guides.

On 7 N’oj, I was invited to participate in the inaugural session of a Cholq’ij study group. The group has been created by Diana Paez who carries the Nawal of 4 N’oj. She has an excellent website, www.walkingthewhiteroad.com, which is filled with information about the calendar if you want to dive deeper into its’ wisdom. Diana is an excellent scribe and I have added that symbol to the engineer archetype that I already identified N’oj with.

As you move through the next thirteen days, take note of the symbols that you are offered. Journal the dreams that stay with you upon waking. Record the images that appear during your meditations. Use this information to distill your own knowledge. You are your own guru and you don’t need anyone else to connect to your higher wisdom.

You’ve got this!

Living Maya Time – The Trecena of Q’anil

The Trecena of Q’anil began on April 25th and finishes today. Another Trecena I am studying in retrospect. The Nawal Q’anil represents the ripening of the seed. It is associated with planting, natural cycles, creation and the harvest. It is the Nawal of farmers. For me, it has been an opportunity to reflect and to plant new seeds for the next cycle. The day 1 Q’anil hosted both my niece’s and my new sister’s birthdays this year. Numbers are the language the Universe uses the most to communicate with me. Numbers always have my attention.

The Q’anil Trecena also hosted the one-year anniversary of my sisters passing. It’s strange what we will remember after a traumatic event. I remember that it was the day of the Kentucky Derby. We happened to turn on the television just as the race was finishing. The same thing happened this year. A small reminder of how much had changed during the last solar cycle. I still forget that my sister isn’t here anymore. I will have something that I want to share with her, something she would enjoy or find amusing, and then I remember. I don’t cry every day anymore, but her absence is still noted. There was an ease between us. She saw me in a way no one else did. We were twins.

The closing of one cycle always welcomes a new one. Crafting a plan of study so that my son can become my business partner, not just an employee, are the seeds I have been planting. Intentionally expanding my business to accommodate his blossoming skills has also been part of my sowing.

This year also brought me a new, bonus sister. My step mother reconnected with her foster daughter a number of years ago and last year they formalized their relationship when Linda adopted Maat. Maat organized the tropical vacation during the Trecena of Aq’ab’al and it was love at first meet for me. An only child, Maat welcomed me enthusiastically, as though we had known each other for a lifetime. My wealth, my harvest and my abundance have always been my family. The energy of Q’anil illuminated that for me over these past thirteen days.

Tomorrow will welcome the Nawal of Imox. For some, this represents the beginning of a new calendar cycle. Imox is the Nawal of the oceans and the collective consciousness. It can be seen as the moment before creation. An opportunity for the seeds that we have planted in the last cycle to germinate. A time to visualize a new dream.

Happy Dreaming,

Cara

xoxo

Living Maya Time – The Trecena of Ajmaq

In a divine wink from the Universe, I am a little late in getting this blog published. I am feeling my humanness. I had a particularly frustrating day yesterday. I had no capacity to write. This Trecena celebrates and offers us the opportunity to reflect upon what it means to be human. It invites us to find forgiveness for ourselves and for others when we embody those less than desirable qualities that all humans possess. The Trecena of Aq’ab’al brought the new concept of JOY in for me. I discovered my inner girl while sliding down waterfalls, zip lining, dancing and just FROLICKING. Returning home to confront my business was sobering, but not unmanageable. Not until yesterday. Yesterday found me impatient, exhausted and frustrated. What happened to my joyful girl? SHE WAS HAVING A TEMPER TANTRUM!

Today as I contemplated the theme of the next thirteen days, I had to giggle. To be human is not to be perfect or to feel good all of the time. The Mayan word Maq represents the veil that obscures our perception of Ajaw (God). This veil is what makes us human. According to the Mayan creation story described in the Popul Vuh, when the Gods fashioned the first humans, they created them without the ability to see the consequences of their actions. In doing so, humans must make mistakes to learn and expand their consciousness. Through reconciliation and forgiveness, we can achieve enlightenment. When we recognize that each of us is on our own journey, we can have compassion for the actions of others. We learn to respect the process of life as a human being on planet earth.

Since I lost my twin sister, I have struggled to forgive myself for not reaching out more and checking in on her during her last days. I knew she was struggling with her mental health. I had struggled with my own mental health the previous year. I had learned that I had to find the answers within to find my joy again. I expected her to do the same. Her suicide was a complete shock to me. She was taking steps to make changes and then SHE WAS JUST GONE. In the space of three months, she completely lost her center and felt unable to go on. I will always wonder if there was any action or words from me that would have kept her here with us. But, on this timeline she is gone and it serves no one for me to withhold forgiveness from myself. To be honest, her despair overwhelmed me. I was protecting my one inner peace which was quite fragile and I was serving the clients in my business. My tank was empty.

I will be taking as much time as I can for introspection in the coming days. Our birthday is later this month and it will be my first year celebrating without her. I want to arrive at the day in a place of wholeness that honors myself as a human, as a twin and now as a woman who is still a twin, but is now walking alone.

May you find forgiveness and compassion for yourself and others this Trecena.

Cara