I am still feeling the energies of last weeks powerful eclipse. How about you?
The Aqmaq trecena can be intense. It’s hard to look at our warts and then find forgiveness for ourselves. A total lunar eclipse definitely didn’t make it any easier. By mid-March, my business has the frenetic energy of a really busy restaurant. A restaurant with people lined up outside, waiting to come in. I hadn’t had a whole lot of time for myself. Not until yesterday.
The day 13 Q’anil is a day to celebrate ancestral abundance. Ideal energy for the healing circle I was invited to. I had driven by Rana Creek Ranch many times so I knew just where to go. I had also read about the partnership between the non-profit organization who purchased the ranch and the Esselen tribe. The partnership was an opportunity for reconciliation and healing. It also came with many challenges. The circle was gathering with the intention to join as a community to share the burden of those challenges so that the reconciliation and healing could occur. It was a privilege to have been invited and it was an immensely healing experience.
At the center of the circle was a fire. Toj is part of the name Tojil, a Mayan god who gave fire to humans. The fire was not a gift. Offerings and sacrifices were expected in exchange for the fire. Toj is associated with debts, both material and spiritual. By paying our debts we balance our energies. This is another trecena with a heavier quality. It asks us to do the work, to walk the talk and do so selflessly. This is how we stay in balance with the universe and our planet. In order to receive, we must also give. The energy of Toj blends well with the energy of tax season. It is all about work, sacrifice and service. It also allows me to work quite a bit less during the summer months. This is the balancing aspect of the Toj trecena.
Our offerings are powerful forces in the creation of our lives. The next thirteen days will bring an opportunity to invest in our future and also acknowledge what we have received in the past. Lighting candles and making fires are both great ways to make offerings and connect to the Toj energy.
In a divine wink from the Universe, I am a little late in getting this blog published. I am feeling my humanness. I had a particularly frustrating day yesterday. I had no capacity to write. This Trecena celebrates and offers us the opportunity to reflect upon what it means to be human. It invites us to find forgiveness for ourselves and for others when we embody those less than desirable qualities that all humans possess. The Trecena of Aq’ab’al brought the new concept of JOY in for me. I discovered my inner girl while sliding down waterfalls, zip lining, dancing and just FROLICKING. Returning home to confront my business was sobering, but not unmanageable. Not until yesterday. Yesterday found me impatient, exhausted and frustrated. What happened to my joyful girl? SHE WAS HAVING A TEMPER TANTRUM!
Today as I contemplated the theme of the next thirteen days, I had to giggle. To be human is not to be perfect or to feel good all of the time. The Mayan word Maq represents the veil that obscures our perception of Ajaw (God). This veil is what makes us human. According to the Mayan creation story described in the Popul Vuh, when the Gods fashioned the first humans, they created them without the ability to see the consequences of their actions. In doing so, humans must make mistakes to learn and expand their consciousness. Through reconciliation and forgiveness, we can achieve enlightenment. When we recognize that each of us is on our own journey, we can have compassion for the actions of others. We learn to respect the process of life as a human being on planet earth.
Since I lost my twin sister, I have struggled to forgive myself for not reaching out more and checking in on her during her last days. I knew she was struggling with her mental health. I had struggled with my own mental health the previous year. I had learned that I had to find the answers within to find my joy again. I expected her to do the same. Her suicide was a complete shock to me. She was taking steps to make changes and then SHE WAS JUST GONE. In the space of three months, she completely lost her center and felt unable to go on. I will always wonder if there was any action or words from me that would have kept her here with us. But, on this timeline she is gone and it serves no one for me to withhold forgiveness from myself. To be honest, her despair overwhelmed me. I was protecting my one inner peace which was quite fragile and I was serving the clients in my business. My tank was empty.
I will be taking as much time as I can for introspection in the coming days. Our birthday is later this month and it will be my first year celebrating without her. I want to arrive at the day in a place of wholeness that honors myself as a human, as a twin and now as a woman who is still a twin, but is now walking alone.
May you find forgiveness and compassion for yourself and others this Trecena.
The earth has taken another couple of turns around the sun since I last showed up in this space. I thought my grief was on its way out, but it was just the beginning. I had just regained my center last Spring when my identical twin sister committed suicide. Losing her has impacted me profoundly. Healing is feeling and I have felt it all. In memory of her I wanted to share my words from her Celebration of Life this past Summer.
When we lose someone so suddenly, it is hard to accept the loss. It feels like you are going to wake up and it all will have just been a terrible nightmare. Days turn into weeks and weeks become months and the reality becomes starkly visible. She is gone. She won’t be at work on Monday. We aren’t taking the trip to Spain with Linda and all the cousins that we intended to. She won’t be at Sarah’s graduation. She’s not going to move in with her friend Michelle to start a new life. The girls weekend to Avila beach with Suzanne and Jennifer is now just an idea that will never manifest. So many more memories we had to create. So many more memories she had to create.
This is not how our love story was meant to end. Not so soon. Not in this way! I know that Michaela’s departure has been very shocking and painful. But Michaela is at peace. This I know for certain. It helps me to imagine that she has embarked on a journey. Though unseen, she hasn’t departed forever. Her presence lingers in our hearts, and her laughter echoes in the whispers of the breeze.
I asked Spirit for one word that would best describe Michaela and I was given, “Hostess”. I laughed out loud because one of her and my favorite games to play together as children was “Hotel”. We also did hostess duty for our dads restaurant when we were in grade school. Later, as teenagers, we worked together as housekeepers at the Green Gables Inn in Pacific Grove where we went to High School. Not surprisingly, at our senior Awards dinner, she received the Achievement Award for Home Economics. She was an excellent chef and a talented seamstress. She also had a magic touch when it came to gardening. Plants flourished under her care.
Cara & Michaela, Baja California
It was not surprising that she became a stay-at-home Mom when her son Matthew was born. When her children arrived, I saw her come alive like never before. Matthew and Sarah were her greatest treasure. She devoted herself to attachment style parenting. She educated herself about the benefits of breast feeding and a family bed and she embraced it all. When my daughter Caroline was born, she was there for me with so much encouragement and support. We were living in the same housing development in Foxboro, Massachusetts at that time. We could actually walk to each other’s homes. Those were magical times.
A few years and one relocation later and she and I were both back in California. Sarah had arrived and just a few months behind her, my son Spencer was born. So many beautiful memories of those days when we were both just Moms. We were able to spend as much time together as we liked. After I went back to work, Summer was when got to see each other the most. We always enrolled our kids in the summer reading program at the Carmel Library where our mom had worked when we were growing up.
Little did we know that the library would become the next chapter in her life when Matthew and Sarah were no longer children. My sister adored working for the library. She was an avid reader, often reading more than one book at a time. She was also a talented and prolific writer. She graduated with a degree in Journalism from Fresno State and she used the skills she learned to write a novel and many short stories. The library, where she was known as Ms. Michaela, was her Happy Place. She had a number of different part-time jobs at Harrison Memorial before getting her full-time job in the children’s department. I remember clearly when she found out that she got hired. She told me it was her dream job and it was. She got to create her own summer reading events for a whole new generation of children. My son has fond memories of volunteering at these events. The Star Wars themed one is a favorite. She loved her co-workers and the young patrons and she loved being in Carmel.
But she also loved being a Hostess. Most of you probably know that she also owned a business, Valley Eden. She and her partner created their very own little Inn, just like the one she and I pretended to own when we were girls. If you ever had the opportunity to stay at Valley Eden, you have been blessed. She was an excellent Hostess and she had over 250 rave reviews to prove it. She loved sharing her hospitality and our magical Valley with guests from all over.
Michaela was also a Hostess and a mom to many fur babies of the feline persuasion. She started out fostering kittens. She had never considered herself to be a cat person, but once she fostered her first set of kittens, she was smitten. Roxy became her first cat baby. Many more would follow. She would promise herself that she wasn’t going to adopt the foster kittens but, invariably, she could not help herself. She became a “Cat Lady” and she fully embraced it. The cats, like her plants, flourished under her care.
Michaela was curious about the universe and was a deeply spiritual person. Nature was her church. She was kind and compassionate and held a deep affection for Mother Earth and all her creatures. She loved live music and attended shows any opportunity she got. She was also a dancer and a Yogi. One of her offerings at Valley Eden was sacred dance and movement. Both were part of her daily practice. I will remember the golden hues in her hair and those sparkling, naughty eyes. With each rising sun, I will hear her laughter. I will call out to her, seek her counsel, and connect with her just like before. She is not gone, she has just slipped into the other room.
I look forward to sharing more with you in the coming weeks and months. My healing journey continues to be guided by magic, plant medicine and the cycles of the Universe. May 2025 bring you blessings of all kinds.
Astrologers have been warning that March 2023 was the beginning of major shifts for our collective consciousness. I’ve had this in the back of my mind as I’ve battled fatigue, chronic pain and old wounds coming to the surface for air. It’s been very tough.
Two things that have really helped me to move through the dense energy have been psilocybin mushrooms and calling on the Dragons for their help.
The shroom journey was intense! All the grief, anger and anxiety that has been plaguing me over the last couple of months moved through my body. I had the feeling that my heart needed to implode in order to begin to repair and ultimately to upgrade.
The Dragons were easy to connect with and their presence was soothing. They are high vibrational, multi-dimensional beings of light and they came through with the assurance that they want to help us remove trauma and lower frequencies from this lifetime and past lifetimes.
According to Diana Cooper, world-renowned angel and ascension expert, “Dragons are wise, open-hearted beings. They are part of the angelic kingdom, though many of them operate at a lower frequency than angels. Because of this they can delve into deep dense energy to clear it in a way that angels cannot.”
I am feeling more grounded again and just as well because the rest of March is pretty eventful too, with:
The Full Moon in Virgo on March 7th
Saturn moving into Pisces for the better part of three years, also on March 7th
The Equinox and the New Moon in Aries March 21st
Pluto moving into Aquarius on March 23rd
I hope you’re doing whatever you need to stay grounded. It’s shaky but we’re going in the right direction,
Cara
Disclaimer: Please seek professional advice if you are considering using psilocybin mushrooms. Intention and Integration are key.
It’s hard to believe it has been an entire year since I launched my website and entered the “BLOGOSPHERE”. If you have been with me since the beginning then you know I am an observer of cycles. They fascinate me.
Last May the Blood Flower Super Moon danced in the expansive sign of Sagittarius. The perfect day to begin speaking my truth in a more public way.
“Seeker of Magic, Spreader of Light. Do you think you can own that? Walk that Talk?” When my editor and website creator Lee Mayimele asked me that question a year ago, I honestly didn’t know.
This year’s Blood Flower Moon
It’s May again and I have now published FORTY blogs. I had to count them, of course. This year the Blood Flower Moon emerged in the sign of Scorpio, the great transformer.
Have I transformed in the past year? I would say YES and I would say speaking my truth triggered the transformation.
Who knew writing and co-creating had such power to ALCHEMIZE?
Lee certainly did! She could see a version of me that even I had not glimpsed yet. This vision is part of what makes her a great writing coach and co-creator. If you would like to see how she can help you see your best self, contact her at http://www.leemayimele.com.
Thank you for coming on this journey with me, friends. Thank you for holding space for all my shares and for watching as I become a true SEEKER OF MAGIC and SPREADER OF LIGHT.
I am looking forward to another year of evolving with all of you!
That’s been a theme in my life for about two years now. Everywhere I turn I’ve been meeting strong, attractive, deep, interesting, creative women.
They have come into my life through the doors of my tax practice, online through the study of plant medicine, metaphysics & astrology and most recently through my book.
She found me through my audiobook and a google search. “And I fell in love with your voice,” the attractive Ukrainian woman standing in front of me in need of my tax services said. She was also a self-published author. I know this is going to sound cliche, but I felt like I had met her before. I also knew that she and I would become friends because we just “clicked” in the special way that I’ve been clicking with other special women.
Elena is one of many women I have met just like this over the last few months. I’ve walked into homes of clients and stayed for dinner, volunteered at the Steinbeck Center as a mentor to two young writers and met a soul sister from another life. Heck, it’s even happened to me with my editor who lives in South Africa. It sometimes feels like we are living in the same house because she and I connect via our daily routines as mothers, sisters, and colleagues and intuitively feel one another’s moods. It’s just incredible.
When my daughter, Caroline was getting ready to go off to college, I found myself sinking into a pit of separation anxiety and it affected me physically. I wrote about this in my book, Many Gifts in detail because I wanted to share this with as many women as possible. The Divine Feminine energy that links us all was in its natural state of flow, presenting with changes to both our menstrual cycles and it scared me! It scared me because no one really talked about it. Once I began to open up and let the light into this area of our world, I think that’s when I was able to hop back on the train that is always riding to its destination: HARMONY. The perfect state where all things divine and feminine blossom.
My old wounds around women all started coming to the surface for air:
Sister wounds (I’m a twin)
Friendship wounds (oh, I’ve got lots!)
Mother wounds
Ancestral wounds
My twin sister & I. I’m the one on the right:-)
I kept on diving into my plant medicine, meditation, my work, journaling and making love to keep my vibration as high as possible while I allowed the changes in my life and my body to happen. They were going to happen anyway!
I think that’s when this tribe of women soldiers started coming into my field. My channel was set to the right dial for them.
The other thing that happened – and I only just realized this while writing this blog – is that the women who were not set to the right channel fell out of my world. There was simply no vibrational match for us anymore. Now if THIS is not the Law of Attraction that all the great books talk about, then I do not know what is.
Women rock. This post is to salute them and to salute me because I could not be at this point if I did not have the common sense to recognize that this LOVE that I have for them is really all about the LOVE that I finally have for ME!
Whitney said it best: I’m every woman. It’s all in me.
Cara – Seeker of Magic, Spreader of Light
All Rights Reserved. The material of this website belongs to Cara Carozza. Appropriate credit should be given where material is shared, copied, disseminated, copied or quoted.
Although I practice gratitude throughout the year, I really make the effort at Thanksgiving to make a note of my blessings.
I created a Solstice ceremony that has now become a family tradition and it fills me with joy to hear about everyone’s blessings. (You can read more about this tradition in my book, Many Gifts – Seeing beyond the Setbacks).
The biggest things on my list for this year’s Thanksgiving ceremony include:
1. My family: The kids are all off doing their own things and loving life. My parents are doing okay (with a few health hiccups) and although we lost Richard’s mom this year, they are all at peace.
2. My book: Sharing my story is one of the bravest and most satisfying things I have ever done. I tapped into my creative side again, released the shame, and found my voice. I plan to use my bold voice (quite literally) to pursue another goal but I will share more about that in a few weeks:-)
3. My writing coach, Lee Mayimele: Lee is more than a writing coach to me. She has become a friend. But, it’s her work process that I am so grateful for. Lee is a dream weaver! She uses her intuitive gifts extensively in her work to get guidance for each project, each client, each moment. As she receives messages, Downloads, and guidance she very gently shares the information to check for resonance. In my case, Lee’s intuitive nudges were always spot on. It’s the best feeling to know that you are being supported energetically. Lee calls it “holding space” and I believe that this is the future of all things corporate. If we can use our hearts more, we all win. (www.leemayimele.com)
4. My home: Man, I love my home! I also love the man in my home. I was watching him teach his boys his trade (flooring) the other day, and I felt a tear roll down my cheek. I love seeing Richard so alive with purpose. The energy in our home is blessed because we are both pursuing the things that light us up and everyone who comes into our space is blessed by the energy.
Pic: Karianne_Munstedt
Don’t forget that there is a very special lunar eclipse happening this Friday, November 19th and that on the next New Moon—December 4th—we will have the most dramatic kind of eclipse of all, a total solar eclipse! Mark your calendars and prepare for fireworks.
Let me also take this opportunity to wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving. In between the turkey and fun, spend some time counting your blessings. More will certainly show up.
Love,
Cara – Seeker of Magic, Spreader of Light
All Rights Reserved. The material of this website belongs to Cara Carozza. Appropriate credit should be given where material is shared, copied, disseminated, copied or quoted.
Sometimes I wish I wasn’t so generous. I’m not really talking about generosity in monetary terms – that I don’t regret at all. The more I have to share the more Source gives me to share. I’m referring to my emotional generosity with people who I need to let go of because they are not good for my mental and/or emotional wellbeing.
I’ve found myself in a couple of situations lately that were sucking my energy. This imbalance caused an environment for opportunistic lower vibration emotions to arise (anger, fear, resentment, disappointment), ultimately manifesting physical pain in my body.
My gut said Cara you need to cut X off! This is toxic, but I defaulted to my childhood response: One more chance. Maybe she has/will change. The problem with that response is that it places the responsibility in the other person’s court. It was time to take my power back!
A friend reminded me that I had all the tools, resources and experience to purge the things (and people) that I did not want in my space. She was right. Sometimes all we need is that little reminder to get back on track. So, I whipped up some AURA-CLEARING magic and cut those toxic chords. Ahhh, the relief was so good!
Now that I am feeling light and generous (in a good way) again, I thought I would share two of my favourite tools with you:
Smudging: Smudging is a great way to energetically cleanse your aura and physical spaces. Traditionally a shell is used to hold the smudge stick made from either white sage/Palo Santo and a feather is used to spread the smoke around. Visualise your space filling up with white light as the old energy lifts away with the clouds of smoke. You should feel relief immediately. I also find it useful to declutter and clear out any physical remnants of the person in the space I am smudging.
Hoʻoponopono: Hoʻoponopono is a Hawaiian practice of reconciliation and forgiveness. The prayer goes like this: “I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you.” Now I know this may seem counter-intuitive to be saying a prayer of love and thanks to someone who has caused you pain but trust me, it works. When we are able to release the negative emotions that come up every time we think of the person, we free ourselves of any guilt or shame too. That is a powerful exercise! I also find it soothing to say these words out loud. It fills me with so much love. You can be grateful for the lesson and wave goodbye at the same time, right?
Well friends, I hope this helps you. Do remember that as we clear out the negative, we raise our vibration. Things that are drawn to our new vibrational frequency will naturally come into our field and that is when we can manifest with ease.
The image on the cover is a special one. It is the artwork of Cynthia (Cyndi) Arieta. To see more of her spiritual and intuitive art, visit her website www.cynthiaarieta.com
SOS
Please share this info far and wide. My mission is to tell my story to as big an audience as possible. If you know anyone who would like to interview me for tv/radio/print, please let me know. I am also planning to send review copies to relevant interested parties, so shout if you know anyone who would like to do that.
If you would like a SIGNED copy of my book, please get in touch too. It would be my pleasure to arrange that for you.
Lastly and most importantly, THANK YOU! I am so excited.
Love
Cara – Seeker of Magic, Spreader of Light
All Rights Reserved. The material of this website belongs to Cara Carozza. Appropriate credit should be given where material is shared, copied, disseminated, copied or quoted.
So I may (or may not) have mentioned to you I have written a book. It is going to be published in just a couple of weeks. Sitting down to write my story was mixed-bag of slow, pleasure and pain. I wanted to tell the story as factually accurate as possible — so it was necessary to put in the sweaty emotional work.
My incredible editor and writing coach helped me so much! She encouraged me not to get caught up in fear, not to censor my feelings and definitely NOT to worry what other people think of me or my story. “It is YOUR story, Cara,” she would say in her voice notes. “If other people don’t like it, tough shit.”
That was transformative.
The dwarf planet, Chiron reminds me of the writing process. This planet is named after a centaur (a creature with the head, arms, and torso of a man and the body and legs of a horse) who in Greek mythology who had incredible healing powers. Sadly he could not heal himself from the wound of a poison arrow and died. Chiron represents deep sources of wounding and healing in our lives. It’s the soft-spot that feels vulnerable, unloved and hurt — a part that we cannot fix ourselves. I believe that writing can help us in this respect. *Dear Chiron, I hope you’re listening…for your next life, wink-wink*
So if you are thinking of writing your story I would suggest you just do it. Don’t wait for the right moment. Don’t worry about what others will think of you. Just go for it! And if you are looking for someone to help you with the process, contact Lee. Her website is www.leemayimele.com
Namaste,
Cara – Seeker of Magic, Spreader of Light
All Rights Reserved. The material of this website belongs to Cara Carozza. Appropriate credit should be given where material is shared, copied, disseminated, copied or quoted.
Cara Carozza 